tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89594480397172694912024-03-05T00:23:22.075-06:00Barefoot Without a CauseThe questions I wrestle with and a few truths I've discovered along the way.barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.comBlogger173125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-76978209625599769422017-11-09T13:50:00.000-06:002017-11-09T13:50:13.114-06:00On moving...<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love change, but I hate moving.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I like the idea of moving, the possibility of a new space, new home, new neighborhood. I love the dreaming stage, the “what could it look like to be here” stage, the open ended part. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love everything right up to the point where I have to deal in the reality of getting myself and all my crap from one place to the next. I get bogged down with those details, sidetracked by tangents (“oh my gosh! How do I own this much crap? I need to purge all the things and completely re-examine my life” “But wait, I don’t even know what the color scheme in the new place is going to be. What if this doesn’t go? Before I pack I need to redesign the new house and decide what I want it to look like so I even know what comes with.” “Oh! Every note I ever received in high school. Obviously I need to read all these before I can pack them.”). Way too quickly I’m overwhelmed by it all and can be found in the corner, drinking wine out of the bottle with a straw, wearing a motley assortment of clothing I was “trying on in an effort to determine if it’s me anymore.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But, sometimes you gotta move. Sometimes the new space fits you and your needs better than the old one. Or you’ve gone through some internal changes that need to be reflected externally. Or, circumstances just force your hand and bam, you’re in the midst of a move.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All of this is to say that, I’m moving. Digitally, that is. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few months ago I wrote <a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2017/09/rejection.html">this post</a>. I challenged myself to wear rejection as a badge of honor, receipts that I took a risk and put myself out there. This of course was also a challenge to, well, <i>put myself out there.</i> At first, that looked like submitting pieces of my writing to different publications. And in the process I added a few emails to my “rejection!” folder. But since writing that post another project started worming its way out of the depths of my heart. I’ve been putting myself out there in some really uncomfortable ways the past month or so and existing a bit as a walking, breathing vulnerability, all in service to this idea I’ve been tossing around for months. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so, the next step in my challenge to put myself and my work out there and get rejected, is to move my digital space to a new home. One that suits the new work I’m doing and serves as a better home for my writing. I won’t be posting at Barefoot Without a Cause anymore. When I do post my writing, it will be in my new virtual home:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none; text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.colleenkpowell.com/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">www.colleenkpowell.com</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That’s also where you’ll be able to find details about my other project, one I’m very excited about and one that I nervously invite you to check out, once it’s up and running (I’m shooting for the beginning of January 2018). At my new site, you’ll see there’s a place to submit your email to receive new posts in your inbox. If you’ve done that in the past here at BWAC, I hope you’ll do it at the new site too. Also you’ll see I’ve reposted my top 5 most read posts from this site, as well as everything I’ve posted here since May. In terms of the blog aspect of the new website, I’m hoping it’s just a seamless extension of what I was doing (sporadically) here. As for the other stuff…well, we’ll see how that goes. :) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ll keep Barefoot Without a Cause up as long as blogspot allows it, because some of the writing I’m most proud of exists here. In the meantime, moving forward, you can find my writing <a href="https://www.colleenkpowell.com/blog/">here</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thanks for following along so far, friends. It’s meant so much to know even a few of you were reading my words here. </span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-84251528548039694612017-09-26T06:41:00.002-05:002017-09-26T06:41:49.956-05:00Other Mothers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ryann started Kindergarten this year. It has been a much anticipated milestone in this house. She has always loved school, loved the friends, loved the teachers and the learning. She also super loved that all of her preschool classrooms had multiple toy phones. I think the lack of toy phones is the only downside to Kindergarten. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In our little tribe of “friends who have become a family of sorts” there are three other kiddos starting Kindergarten this year, too. One in each family. Each kid started “big school” at a different school last month. Many months ago the moms dreamed up “Kindergarten dinner.” We wanted to take these soon-to-be Kindergarteners out for a special dinner, just them and their moms, to celebrate this big milestone. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few weeks ago four moms and four five and six year olds met at Portillo’s for Kindergarten dinner. We ordered hot dogs and hamburgers and chicken nuggets (and a few chopped salads) and moved a few tables together for our feast. As we’d finalized our plans the week before I’d wondered if Portillo’s was the right choice. Should we have done something more “sit-down” and grown up to celebrate the big occasion? After watching their squirrelly excitement multiply with proximity to each other I knew we’d made the right call. They may be "big kids" but they’re still unable to sit still when they all get together. We gave each kid a chance to share about their schools and classrooms, what they loved, who they sat by, what the best part of the day was. They excitedly found similarities in each other’s school lives (“I go to the library too! You have recess?? Me too!”) and they all reported that they liked their teachers. At the end of dinner there was a lot of coordinated hands in the circle “go teaming” to the shouts of Kindergarten! (Five and six year olds are so funny!) At some point in the meal they’d started planning the band they were going to form and, outside of Portillo's, the drive through line was treated to four raucous kindergarteners singing/playing four different songs on imaginary instruments. I predict their first record will go platinum. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In this little Kindergarten cohort there are two boys and two girls. Finn and Grayson were born just a few days apart in August. Nine months later Ryann was born and six weeks after that came Caroline. I’ve known their moms since high school, but it was when these guys were babies that our tribe fully came together and we started meeting intentionally and regularly. Charity and her family had just moved back to the area and Kelly and her family came into the fold all around the same time. For the whole of Ry’s life she has known these three women. Finn, Grayson and Caroline have been her constant playmates. They’ve celebrated each of her birthdays, she knows the ins and outs of all their homes and their families. Outside of her siblings, these are the kids that are closest to her, her people. And their moms are her second moms. She knows Lauren will pick her up and give her the biggest hug when she sees her, Charity will stop everything to hear about her day and Kelly will cheer her on in whatever she does. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At one point in the dinner Charity told the kids she was really excited that there were four amazing kids going out into the world to be brave and kind and loving and that we wanted to mark that with our little celebration. I added that I wanted each of them to know that there are four moms here who love each of them so much and who will be cheering them all on every step of the way as they go out into the world. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There’s been lots said about the need for a village. Jen Hatmaker calls them “bonus moms” in her new book and writes a more beautiful tribute to them than I ever could. Whatever you want to call it, a tribe, a village, bonus moms, second mothers, the experience of other people loving and caring about my kids has changed me and shaped my kids lives in incredible ways. I am so incredibly thankful for these women in my kids lives. Thankful that I get to be in their kids lives.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">At the dinner we decided that this would be a tradition for the (many) kids we have coming up behind these four.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(Between the four families we have 12 kids…so far.)</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This is the only year that each of us have a kid starting kindergarten, but we decided that in the future all four moms will attend the Kindergarten Dinner, even if we don’t have a kindergartener that year.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Because we want all our kids to know that all the moms care about them deeply, that we’re here for them, that we’re cheering them on, rooting for them, eager to celebrate their successes and help pick them up after the losses.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">These kids have a tribe and I’m so happy to be a part of it. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><br />
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-49203971883391918682017-09-20T14:16:00.003-05:002017-09-20T14:16:51.140-05:00A Few Good Books: August<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It’s the middle of the month so I’m linking up with <a href="https://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-september-2017/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy</a> to share what I read last month. I read some good stuff in August!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here’s the lineup:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Homegoing-Yaa-Gyasi/dp/1101971061/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505934281&sr=8-1&keywords=Homegoing" target="_blank">Homegoing</a> by Yaa Gyasi</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mess-Moxie-Wrangling-Delight-Glorious/dp/0718031849/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934336&sr=1-1&keywords=of+mess+and+moxie" target="_blank">Of Mess and Moxie</a> by Jen Hatmaker</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/One-Unity-Divided-Deidra-Riggs/dp/0801018439/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934542&sr=1-1&keywords=one+by++riggs">One: Unity in a Divided World </a>by Deirdre Riggs</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Stranger-Novel-Megan-Miranda/dp/1501107992/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934594&sr=1-1&keywords=the+perfect+stranger">The Perfect Strange</a>r by Megan Miranda</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Polygamists-Daughter-Memoir-Anna-LeBaron/dp/1496417550/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934636&sr=1-1&keywords=the+polygamist%27s+daughter+by+anna+lebaron">The Polygamist’s Daughter</a> by Anna LeBaron</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Almost-Sisters-Novel-Joshilyn-Jackson/dp/006210571X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934742&sr=1-1&keywords=the+almost+sisters">The Almost Sisters</a> by Joshilyn Jackson</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Best:</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbBdN5v8v3q0u33iDf7IWkTNVm17sN5DGCnySI170ueSuqT4zwoBWgFiQ_QEXzGv1jLIv541NXW7iwWvAsgtUGwBj42ybF129qTWCfzoE4FY4h9nx3JgsZUBAsdiIAFxQh1UU8ts9sA/s1600/51L%252BYV-QD2L._SX322_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="324" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDbBdN5v8v3q0u33iDf7IWkTNVm17sN5DGCnySI170ueSuqT4zwoBWgFiQ_QEXzGv1jLIv541NXW7iwWvAsgtUGwBj42ybF129qTWCfzoE4FY4h9nx3JgsZUBAsdiIAFxQh1UU8ts9sA/s200/51L%252BYV-QD2L._SX322_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">read this immediately</td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hands down "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Homegoing-Yaa-Gyasi/dp/1101971061/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505934281&sr=8-1&keywords=Homegoing" target="_blank">Homegoing</a>" was the best thing I read this month. This book was…. I don’t even know if I have the words to properly explain its significance. It follows the lineage of two sisters in Africa starting at the beginning of the slave trade. Each chapter gives a snapshot of the next generation, going back and forth between families. There is a helpful family tree at the beginning of the book that I referred back to constantly. It is so beautifully and powerfully written. Each character could have sustained an entire novel, but the fact that we only got what is essentially a short story peek into their lives just made me want more. Gyasi did an incredible job of tying each generations story together so that you felt like you got resolution to each character’s life. It was in incredibly ingenious set up and the execution was perfect. It’s a powerful, powerful story that needs to be on everyone’s “to read” list.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgic45TPV6lGKCIGaPaj5LUC0GSlK8WAUjlJyCZn-X1OTkCoGAxKdI2MlSBz9YpFhFmA9U1rZ1Y4BNj37wIgYZshqqEHUYJbWk2UPB82JeP5Ef-Igcy7oy_MmOZGVOJtjMKcDk_u-tWKw/s1600/51OQibd58GL._SX325_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="327" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgic45TPV6lGKCIGaPaj5LUC0GSlK8WAUjlJyCZn-X1OTkCoGAxKdI2MlSBz9YpFhFmA9U1rZ1Y4BNj37wIgYZshqqEHUYJbWk2UPB82JeP5Ef-Igcy7oy_MmOZGVOJtjMKcDk_u-tWKw/s200/51OQibd58GL._SX325_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" width="130" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">worth it 100%</td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ll be honest, I wasn’t eagerly anticipating this one like I have of Hatmaker’s books in the past. I loved Jen’s books “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/7-Experimental-Mutiny-Against-Excess/dp/1433672960/ref=pd_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Q0N3KNTR4MGGTTRK634E">Seven</a>” and “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Interrupted-Jesus-Wrecks-Comfortable-Christianity/dp/1631463535/ref=pd_sim_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=KTSP0DHB5ZMJ5WRB6A4T">Interrupted</a>" and I’ve been a long time reader of her blog, but her last book “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Fighting-Grace-Impossible-Standards/dp/0718031822/ref=pd_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=E1VRWT5NF1YEC5GZ5A0B"><span id="goog_428529281"></span>For the Love<span id="goog_428529282"></span></a>” fell kind of flat for me so I figured I’d get around to “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mess-Moxie-Wrangling-Delight-Glorious/dp/0718031849/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934336&sr=1-1&keywords=of+mess+and+moxie" target="_blank">Of Mess and Moxie</a>” whenever. I wasn’t on the pre-ordering rush. But after hearing a podcast interview with Jen about the book my interest was piqued and her pre-order incentives were decent so I went ahead and pre-ordered it a few days before it came out. It came to my door on a Tuesday and I think I’d finished it in two days. It is classic Hatmaker, honest, funny, thought-provoking. There was something different about this one though. She’s been through the ringer over the last year with in the big “Christian Industry” and the book reveals a depth and groundedness that I haven’t seen with her. She’s been refined and I found her to be even wiser and bolder, my favorite combination. I shared essays with Tommy, returned to a few later and am still thinking about some. I couldn’t recommend this one more highly.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJdPRi02cPu30K1ww68wO8amOAKo6J1kzTEpoR5FrPHZfsqzhM1i9ZfbO95N7FGKTZ346R8THrdDaynKf1F0ojwPPnZ1oDDM-NIiIexE0JoVxvpEITh_wf2X-ogcHPcejzj8BfQHcqLA/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="293" data-original-width="195" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJdPRi02cPu30K1ww68wO8amOAKo6J1kzTEpoR5FrPHZfsqzhM1i9ZfbO95N7FGKTZ346R8THrdDaynKf1F0ojwPPnZ1oDDM-NIiIexE0JoVxvpEITh_wf2X-ogcHPcejzj8BfQHcqLA/s200/Unknown.jpeg" width="133" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this cover conveys zero about the book itself</td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Another surprise this month was “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Almost-Sisters-Novel-Joshilyn-Jackson/dp/006210571X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934742&sr=1-1&keywords=the+almost+sisters">The Almost Sisters</a>.” It was on a bunch of “Best Summer Reading Lists” but the cover was such a turn off for me that I kept avoiding it. Then, a book store owner I follow on Instagram, Annie B. Jones posted about it mentioning that the cover didn’t really fit the book so I added it to my library hold list. When I finally got it I’d forgotten all about Annie’s post and once again found myself so turned off by the cover that it sat on my desk for a week before I finally picked it up. I’m so glad I did! It was a <i>delightful</i> story. I loved the main character and the world in which she lived. It’s a story that takes place in the South is one part family drama, one part murder mystery and one part “woman at a crossroads.” Don’t let the cover (which truly makes absolutely no sense to both the plot and tone of the story) turn you off.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Rest:</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Deirdre Riggs’ <a href="https://www.amazon.com/One-Unity-Divided-Deidra-Riggs/dp/0801018439/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934542&sr=1-1&keywords=one+by++riggs">One: Unity in a Divided World</a> is a beautiful look at how we can be unity and peace makers in this modern era which seems so divisive. I really enjoyed it and hope to entice a few others to read it so I can talk to them about it. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Stranger-Novel-Megan-Miranda/dp/1501107992/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934594&sr=1-1&keywords=the+perfect+stranger">The Perfect Stranger</a> is a mystery/thriller in the vein of Gone Girl et all. I liked this one better than Miranda’s previous book “All the Missing Girls.” Anna LeBaron is the daughter of an infamous polygamous cult leader and this memoir, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Polygamists-Daughter-Memoir-Anna-LeBaron/dp/1496417550/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505934636&sr=1-1&keywords=the+polygamist%27s+daughter+by+anna+lebaron">The Polygamist's Daughter</a>, documents her life within the cult and her escape from it. Weird fact about me-I'm fascinated by polygamous cults. I don’t know why, but I will read any and all cult memoirs. LeBaron’s story is fascinating and heartbreaking, but if you’re going to read a polygamous cult memoir I’d read <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sound-Gravel-Memoir-Ruth-Wariner/dp/1250077699/ref=pd_sim_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=QEDDYGNBHDJPPF7CDSW4">The Sound of Gravel</a> by Ruth Wariner (who happens, weirdly, to be LeBaron’s cousin, though they didn’t know that until both their memoirs had come out).</span></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That's what I've got this month friends! What are you reading?</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-50091786132685951962017-09-06T15:42:00.000-05:002017-09-06T15:42:57.365-05:00Rejection!<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was at <a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2010/08/things-im-thankful-for.html" target="_blank">the farm</a> when I got the email, which is remarkable in that my reception at the farm is always spotty so I don't usually bother checking much. When I saw the sender and the subject title (re: your submission) my heart leapt and I rushed to open it, praying the few bars I had would be enough for the content to load. It was and as I scanned over the words of the message I found myself smiling despite what those words said. It was a rejection letter. My first rejection letter.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Well, to be clear this wasn’t my first rejection letter of all time. I’ve received plenty of those. In fact, there were a few weeks in 2001 when I received a string of rejection letters from almost every college I applied to. Even the mailman started giving me sympathetic looks as I hopefully awaited his arrival. This email was my first rejection letter for a writing submission. And while outwardly I received that solid, unmistakable “no,” inside I was warm and even unmistakably happy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’d thought about submitting pieces to magazines and online publications forever. I’d toy with the essay contest for Real Simple each month, spend an inordinate amount of time researching “how and where to submit writing samples," <i>think</i> about what I’d write and where I’d submit it, sometimes actually <i>start</i> said submission but never, ever did I actually write, edit, finish and submit any of my writing. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don’t even remember exactly what was the catalyst for this submission. For months I’d been circling the 15th in my calendar each month as a reminder that this was the deadline for submissions to a particular online magazine. Each and every month the 15th would pass and I would fail to send anything, worried that whatever I’d been working on wasn’t quite “right” for their site. I do remember, when I finally did finish something, thinking, this may not be quite what they’re looking for, but screw it. Send it anyway. And before I had a chance to overthink it or back out, I did.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And, a few weeks later I heard back from them. The response to my very attempt at the sacred act of “putting yourself out there” in this area of my life was a resounding (but very kind and polite) no.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so, in the face of that first rejection I became surprised at the overriding emotion of… pride. I wasn’t upset at being told “thanks, but no thanks.” Instead I was proud that I’d had the courage to follow through and submit something in the first place. Instead of deleting that email, dejected, I smiled a little to myself and saved that sucker, proof that I’d been brave and vulnerable and lived to tell the tale.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In his memoir “On Writing” author Stephen King writes about how he used to stick all of his rejection letters to a nail in his wall and that by the age of 14 he’d had to upgrade to a spike because the nail could no longer support the weight of all those letters. By the age of fourteen he’d had the courage to submit enough work that a nail couldn’t hold all the proof of his chutzpah! I marveled over this story when I read it and committed to racking up at least a few more rejection emails.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I now have a file, nested under Personal in my complex and numerous gmail label system, entitled “rejections!” It looks just like that, too, with the ! serving as a reminder that these emails are exciting! They are not rejections, but rather marks of your daring, your chance taking, your “putting it out there-ness”! Collect them happily because it means you are trying. In 2018 I just may set a goal for myself to receive a certain number of those emails.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is easy to say, at the beginning of this journey. When that file has accumulated hundreds of “thanks, but no thanks” emails, I may not be so cheerful about my rejection epiphany. <i>Be careful what you wish for </i>and all that jazz.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I am careful about what I’m wishing for. I’m wishing to be brave and bold. I’m wishing to follow through on long held dreams. I’m wishing to show up and do the work for the work’s sake. I’m wishing to put myself out there a bit more, to dare and chance and dream. And so if all I end up with is an email file filled with receipts that I tried and took a risk I will still have gotten what I wished for.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so, fellow dreamers, this one is for you. Could we do this? Can we wear letters of rejection as badges of honor, a testament to our bravery? Can we face the fear and celebrate when we survive that of which we were so afraid? What are your "rejection letters" and how can you flip the script on them? </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let’s do this, friends. Make your own rejections! pile and let them stack up, smiling with each one. Follow in the footsteps of Stephen King and really rack ‘em up, high-fiving your chutzpah along the way. Let’s try something, be brave, put ourselves out there and fail. And then let’s happily get up and try again. </span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-90409337386958324792017-08-15T10:11:00.000-05:002017-09-13T13:22:36.764-05:00A Few Good Books: June and July<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTQH9J_05Fpv6BA8VwE4_SJA4a12pcVDsqspKqvqQMxPczoJRJhFAWyYu-OHnKTATeVG4Ip8sAnGznvr2Wd0TZJNlxMKeEy1J8m-GbSS5QmfhGttASN7mwTspnnavdEHU2LnB2V7ChtA/s1600/hate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="331" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTQH9J_05Fpv6BA8VwE4_SJA4a12pcVDsqspKqvqQMxPczoJRJhFAWyYu-OHnKTATeVG4Ip8sAnGznvr2Wd0TZJNlxMKeEy1J8m-GbSS5QmfhGttASN7mwTspnnavdEHU2LnB2V7ChtA/s200/hate.jpg" width="131" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW99IZsy7jk4i_eaBX5BL2Gt2n8Xtuje66nNnFXccnUbFcEll5uezKeQ-qHhHUWGmM963pjT_wOXO7cxYsEna3TTu7G4L8D3Bl663oWyy1cPJWfn6ZnXldSSUCoA1sx60EbrD-fnJo7A/s1600/lincoln.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="336" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW99IZsy7jk4i_eaBX5BL2Gt2n8Xtuje66nNnFXccnUbFcEll5uezKeQ-qHhHUWGmM963pjT_wOXO7cxYsEna3TTu7G4L8D3Bl663oWyy1cPJWfn6ZnXldSSUCoA1sx60EbrD-fnJo7A/s200/lincoln.jpg" width="134" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpwjtV6G8CN1I8j2YnhNasIQXgNXXKAJ3AgtrGgCml3nvU6p2JHDDlXZXLmNZVlIBqzoHa5kR3JNp_jWB4LwC3rcULHJj83mnXNyVGDOdhd4QwV_NSuvu84XwqOyNeEdXuDNwLU0rwCw/s1600/this+is+how.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="329" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpwjtV6G8CN1I8j2YnhNasIQXgNXXKAJ3AgtrGgCml3nvU6p2JHDDlXZXLmNZVlIBqzoHa5kR3JNp_jWB4LwC3rcULHJj83mnXNyVGDOdhd4QwV_NSuvu84XwqOyNeEdXuDNwLU0rwCw/s200/this+is+how.jpg" width="131" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE_fLu367UcoaZ1S2KLelpahHEcZZADcbtBatqfRfuODTb-obgEqmNrtDv9ANfBjkXo2CFK1LGGsGV3mGzUxmbwZq8Y_flsDqpjHu40nLK_n2W-xo8plZcoZFKZZSmy7xKbaE7TUcqUw/s1600/Underground.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="333" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE_fLu367UcoaZ1S2KLelpahHEcZZADcbtBatqfRfuODTb-obgEqmNrtDv9ANfBjkXo2CFK1LGGsGV3mGzUxmbwZq8Y_flsDqpjHu40nLK_n2W-xo8plZcoZFKZZSmy7xKbaE7TUcqUw/s200/Underground.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Oh hey there. It's been a minute hasn't it? <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">July was basically a blur of airports and adventures and laundry and repacking for more adventures (so basically it was my favorite month ever :) ).</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I will say my reading has taken a hit this summer.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">There are so many children around right now.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">And there are so many adventures to be had.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">So I got a bit less read in July and I’m not on track to change that in August.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">But a bunch of what I did read was awesome.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">And the rest wasn’t terrible. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Since I missed posting about my June reading in July I’m going to cover the best of June and July today. As always, I’m linking up to <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-august-2017/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy’s monthly quick lit post</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here’s the rundown of June and July:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">June</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Almost-Missed-You-Jessica-Strawser-ebook/dp/B01LM0F312/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502808765&sr=8-1&keywords=almost+missed+you" target="_blank">Almost Missed You</a> by Jessica Strawser</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Airlines-Ben-H-Winters-ebook/dp/B017RQP41O/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808806&sr=1-1&keywords=underground+airlines" target="_blank">Underground Airlines</a> by Ben H Winters</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dry-Novel-Jane-Harper-ebook/dp/B01BSN15F6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808856&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Dry" target="_blank">The Dry</a> by Jane Harper</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lincoln-Bardo-Novel-George-Saunders-ebook/dp/B01FPH2N0C/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808882&sr=1-1&keywords=lincoln+in+the+bardo" target="_blank">Lincoln in the Bardo</a> by George Saunders</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Fast-Can-Gilmore-Everything-ebook/dp/B01G0GD07M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808921&sr=1-1&keywords=Talking+as+fast+as+I+can" target="_blank">Talking as Fast as I Can</a> by Lauren Graham</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Every-Wild-Heart-Meg-Donohue-ebook/dp/B01GZRWG6M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808960&sr=1-1&keywords=every+wild+heart" target="_blank">Every Wild Heart</a> by Meg Donahue</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Water-Novel-Paula-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B01N590V3K/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809065&sr=1-1&keywords=into+the+water" target="_blank">Into the Water</a> by Paula Hawkins</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">July</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/This-How-Always-Laurie-Frankel-ebook/dp/B01HW6Z3FG/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809171&sr=1-1&keywords=This+is+how+it+always+is" target="_blank">This is How it Always Is</a> by Laurie Frankel</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Year-Living-Danishly-Uncovering-Happiest-ebook/dp/B00Q8SR5L0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809220&sr=1-1&keywords=a+year+of+living+danishly" target="_blank">A year of Living Danishly</a> by Helen Russel</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hillbilly-Elegy-Memoir-Family-Culture-ebook/dp/B0166ISAS8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809325&sr=1-1&keywords=hillbilly+elegy" target="_blank">Hillbilly Elegy</a> by J.D. Vance</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hate-U-Give-Angie-Thomas-ebook/dp/B01M0614T9/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809378&sr=1-1&keywords=the+hate+u+give" target="_blank">The Hate U Give</a> by Angie Thomas</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/I-See-You-Clare-Mackintosh-ebook/dp/B01IAUGBFY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809455&sr=1-1&keywords=i+see+you" target="_blank">I See You</a> by Clare Mackintosh</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Best:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The premise of </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Airlines-Ben-H-Winters-ebook/dp/B017RQP41O/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808806&sr=1-1&keywords=underground+airlines" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">Underground Airlines</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> is that the civil war never happened and slavery still exists in modern day America in four states, known as the hard four. It was so uncomfortable and, frankly, unsettling to see our modern day government systems and conveniences within the back drop of slavery. The book follows a black slave catcher who is on the hunt for an escaped slave, trying to infiltrate an abolitionist group along the way. The story itself is riveting, fast paced, and intense but it was the premise itself and the ease of which slavery could still exist in this modern world that haunted me. I couldn’t stop thinking about this one and recognizing the ways our laws and systems still protect other injustices.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lincoln-Bardo-Novel-George-Saunders-ebook/dp/B01FPH2N0C/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808882&sr=1-1&keywords=lincoln+in+the+bardo" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">Lincoln in the Bardo</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> was one of the buzzed about books and when I heard that the audiobook included an all star cast (featuring prominently my favorite couple Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally) I knew I wanted to listen to this one. It took me a beat to get into this book, it was so outside the norms of literature in many ways, but I love what Saunders did. It’s part play, part novel, part history lesson, poetic and beautiful. It explores the period of time after Abraham Lincoln’s son dies, imagining him encountering the spirit of his dead son in this middle place between life and death. I’d highly recommend the audiobook, but you may need a copy of the physical book nearby at first to understand exactly what’s going on (I did).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/This-How-Always-Laurie-Frankel-ebook/dp/B01HW6Z3FG/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809171&sr=1-1&keywords=This+is+how+it+always+is" target="_blank">This is How it Always Is</a> was one that a number of people with fabulous taste had been recommending on line or in person. I’m so glad I read it. I think this may be a good book to go into with very little knowledge about the story so all I will say is that its characters are so beautifully and realistically drawn, the unravelling of the story so honestly and powerfully revealed and the interpersonal dynamics among the family members so authentic and loving that I felt like I knew these people and I was a friend on their journey with them. It made me think, lay down assumptions and grew my empathy, just like all good books should.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’d had <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hillbilly-Elegy-Memoir-Family-Culture-ebook/dp/B0166ISAS8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809325&sr=1-1&keywords=hillbilly+elegy" target="_blank">Hillbilly Elegy</a> on my list for a long time but kept avoiding it for some strange reason. I’m sorry that I did, because this was a beautiful story that I couldn’t put down. Vance tells his life story with such love and care for the people and place that raised him without denying the complicated and conflicting aspects of them both. As a reader you can disagree with the characters he draws while still loving them fiercely as Vance did. It helped me understand large areas of our country that I’ve been wrestling with lately. I very much appreciated and respected the way Vance told this story; he honored the best of his community while still calling out the worst, doing so in a way that set him firmly within the community, not as an outsider pointing fingers at a problem. His voice and leadership is remarkable and I hope we hear more from him.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hate-U-Give-Angie-Thomas-ebook/dp/B01M0614T9/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809378&sr=1-1&keywords=the+hate+u+give" target="_blank">The Hate U Give</a> will definitely be on my best books of the year list. I am obsessed with this story. The characters in this are so incredibly and authentically written that I found myself so sad to leave them when I got to the last page. I read this book in about two days. Main character Starr is a teenage girl who walks in two worlds, the upper class white community of her private prep school and the urban, black, more impoverished community she lives in. She finds herself thrown in the national spotlight and drawn to activism when she witnesses her unarmed friend shot by a cop. The story is relevant, nuanced, and engrossing. It’s technically YA, but this should be required reading for everyone. I can’t recommend it more highly or enthusiastically.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Almost-Missed-You-Jessica-Strawser-ebook/dp/B01LM0F312/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502808765&sr=8-1&keywords=almost+missed+you" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">Almost Missed You</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> was an engrossing tale about a husband who disappears with his son, leaving behind a wife to unravel the secrets he’d been keeping about his past. </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dry-Novel-Jane-Harper-ebook/dp/B01BSN15F6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808856&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Dry" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">The Dry</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> was a really good murder mystery set in the Australian outback. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Fast-Can-Gilmore-Everything-ebook/dp/B01G0GD07M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808921&sr=1-1&keywords=Talking+as+fast+as+I+can" target="_blank">Talking as Fast as I Can</a> is Lauren Graham’s memoir about her career with a focus on her time shooting the Gilmore Girls reboot. Graham is a pretty good writer (did you know she has a <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Someday-Maybe-Novel-Lauren-Graham-ebook/dp/B00ALBR6E6/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809297&sr=1-3&keywords=lauren+graham" target="_blank">fiction novel </a>out??) and I super enjoyed this peak behind the scenes of one of my favorite shows. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Every-Wild-Heart-Meg-Donohue-ebook/dp/B01GZRWG6M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502808960&sr=1-1&keywords=every+wild+heart" target="_blank"> Every Wild Heart</a> follows a mother and her teenaged daughter in this equal parts mystery and love story. It was an easy, fast read that tied up a little too neatly at the end. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Into-Water-Novel-Paula-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B01N590V3K/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809065&sr=1-1&keywords=into+the+water" target="_blank"> Into the Water</a> is the newest work from <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Train-Novel-Paula-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B00L9B7IKE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809273&sr=1-1&keywords=the+girl+on+the+train" target="_blank">The Girl on the Train</a> writer Paula Hawkins. It was a great story and definitely in the same vein of Girl on the Train, but not earth shattering. I’ll probably give <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Year-Living-Danishly-Uncovering-Happiest-ebook/dp/B00Q8SR5L0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809220&sr=1-1&keywords=a+year+of+living+danishly" target="_blank">A Year of Living Danishly</a> its own post because I have a lot of thoughts on this one. A british woman moves to Denmark with her husband and spends the year trying to discover why the Danish are considered the happiest people in the world. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/I-See-You-Clare-Mackintosh-ebook/dp/B01IAUGBFY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809455&sr=1-1&keywords=i+see+you" target="_blank">I See You</a> is another new one out by the author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Let-You-Go-Clare-Mackintosh-ebook/dp/B013D669UC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502809492&sr=1-1&keywords=i+let+you+go" target="_blank">I Let You Go</a>, a novel who's surprise twist had me gasping out loud. This was another great psychological thriller that had me turning the pages as fast as I could.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That's a lot of words about two months of reading (so much for Quick Lit!). I can't wait to hear what you've been reading!</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-32715631858766128912017-06-29T10:06:00.000-05:002017-06-29T10:06:07.675-05:00A God Thing<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m a bit of a skeptic at heart when it comes to “God signs.” That phrase alone makes me cringe (along with its sibling “God thing”) and I have always had a hard time claiming with any amount of certainty that something was a sign or word from God. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I used to think this was an indication of one of my many shortcomings. If I just had more faith I could speak confidently of what I knew God was trying to communicate. If I was a better Christian, God would make himself known more clearly. If I read the bible/prayed/fasted/devoted myself more, I could use language of certainty. If only I was more, then those “God signs” would be real.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I’ve also been around long enough to see how people manipulate these signs from God. How they speak with such certainty about things that are not certain. How their “God signs” were often things that they wanted to see or happen. Or to serve as proof of their very “in-ness.” We Christians are very good at speaking what we want to believe as though it were sound truth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I have to err on either side of this conundrum I think I would rather err on the side of skeptic. I don’t want to be cynical, but I’d rather not feel like everything must be a sign from God in order for it to warrant merit. And also, if I’m being real honest here, I’m just not confident enough to say with any amount of certainty that something is from God. Maybe that reveals a weak faith, or maybe wisdom from years of witnessing the voice of God sound an awful lot like whoever is speaking on His behalf. Probably a little of both. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And yet still I feel like maybe the spirit is nudging me to be more open to naming God’s work. Maybe I can acknowledge deep in my heart movement I hope to be of God.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have two red headed babies. They have the kind of red hair that stops people in their tracks. It is truly beautiful hair. Everyone always asks, “Where on earth does it come from?” My husband and I are both brunettes through and through. Neither of us has the fair complexion or ginger roots that would naturally be inclined to produce such vivid red hair on a kid.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For a long time I would answer that question with a simple “my side of the family.” This is certainly true; my dad, sister and brother all have heads of different shades of ginger.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I’m never telling my whole truth when I answer this question. What I want to say when people inquire about their red hair is much more vulnerable. I want to say, “I think their hair comes from my dad. I think it’s a sign from God for me to trust that my dad in heaven and God is still good. Because my first two babies have honey colored and dark brown hair but then, when I was pregnant with this third baby, my dearly loved, red haired dad unexpectedly died and the effects of this tragedy took a toll on my faith and my understanding of God. Then, six months later, I gave birth to a little red haired anomaly and it felt a little kiss from my dad. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe it was from God, but it could have just as easily have been a nice coincidence. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then, sixteen months later I gave birth to <i>another</i> ginger haired baby and I wonder if surely this meant God was trying to tell me something, that this was more than just coincidence. Maybe it is a sign.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If it had just been Lou, the older daughter, I might have been able to convince myself that it was all just a lovely coincidence. But then Rory came and two babies with the same hair color that is nothing like their parents but everything like their grandfather and maybe, just maybe it’s more. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It could be a little piece of my dad in the babies he never got to meet. Maybe it was God’s way of keeping my dad’s name on my tongue. Whenever anyone asks where their unique hair color comes from I get to speak of my dad. And I get asked that question multiple times a day. Or maybe it’s a visual reminder of him I get to kiss and hug every day. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But sometimes I wonder if it’s even more that that. Maybe it’s a reminder of God’s love and care for me still. A physical representation that God cares about me enough to send me a sign, an answer to the rawest and most vulnerable questions my heart holds. These two babies and their unique hair color came during a season of my life when I so desperately needed to know that God was good. Could God’s answer to the biggest questions and fears I have about Him lie in the hair atop my daughters’ heads? An answer I desperately need to hear? Maybe it is a God thing…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m learning in this season to claim this truth with a little more certainty. I could be wrong, sure. But I’m tired of letting my fear of being wrong allow me to assume that God can’t or won’t move in my life. I don’t want to stop looking for God’s hand because I’m afraid of placing too much significance on some innocuous seeming event. I don’t want to be silent because I’m afraid to hope.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And while I will likely not go into this whole mess of theology and belief with the check out girl at Trader Joe’s each time I am asked about their hair, I will settle in a little more deeply in my heart my own truth about God’s work and his “sign.” I will choose to believe this God thing…</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-15319110182588557722017-06-25T09:48:00.001-05:002017-09-13T13:30:00.234-05:00On celebrating your wheelhouse<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-N7kWfrnt6LAq7KiYl3jDStO2ARUih9Z9lkE6ba0Da9BBI6njeUo7Fxon4bvnSQBeTT7qm-an43mR2Bhk01OCurc_dBzudW8bTLkgscs1NEbY2GdIA15OHJiSuYvlzAgASl_SpzGukA/s1600/IMG_2238+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-N7kWfrnt6LAq7KiYl3jDStO2ARUih9Z9lkE6ba0Da9BBI6njeUo7Fxon4bvnSQBeTT7qm-an43mR2Bhk01OCurc_dBzudW8bTLkgscs1NEbY2GdIA15OHJiSuYvlzAgASl_SpzGukA/s320/IMG_2238+2.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">adventuring</td></tr>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This past winter I attended some meetings with friends I only see once or twice a year. In the meantime we keep up with each other through social media, liking Instagram pictures and wishing kids happy birthday in comment sections. Right before this particular trip I had posted something on Instagram about a “fancy party” my kids and I had as part of the Fun list we create twice a year (summer and winter). The Summer/Winter Fun lists are just basically a handful of things my kids and I want to try and do during the season that we are in. The things range from stuff that requires some planning on my part- go to an indoor waterpark, go to a baseball game- to stuff my kids do all the time but becomes special once its on the list- go to the pool, sit by the fire and look at our baby books. Most of it is all stuff we’d be doing anyway. It’s just a simple way for us to add a little adventure to our seasons and make the stuff we’d already do seem a bit more significant. For me, nothing about the Fun Lists are difficult or hard. They push me to do a few things I may have easily put off until it was too late to try, but by and large it’s all stuff the kids and I already look forward to doing.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf-vb5Fog8Lqfo-YmvEMz3Sl598nOwVw-Yo6wUxekAHyxDO3qfoMrjTVpvryUosukQPY2fhKS9XuucMAaFGELVYTYluxS_MilAG-BegPv4JojeWhHwyTxCHorF7FbSQ5WVCWPxFiMOhQ/s1600/13934595_10101106669717007_5053501769268445489_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="774" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf-vb5Fog8Lqfo-YmvEMz3Sl598nOwVw-Yo6wUxekAHyxDO3qfoMrjTVpvryUosukQPY2fhKS9XuucMAaFGELVYTYluxS_MilAG-BegPv4JojeWhHwyTxCHorF7FbSQ5WVCWPxFiMOhQ/s320/13934595_10101106669717007_5053501769268445489_n.jpg" width="258" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">last year's summer fun list</td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When I caught up with these friends at the annual meeting more than one made a point to mention my “fancy party” post and comment wistfully at “what a great mom” I was, implying somehow that I was going above and beyond in the parenting game. The comments caught me off guard and made me uncomfortable. I was being given far too much credit. The fancy party was not an act of heroic “Mom-ness” on my part. It consisted of letting my four year old pick out my entire outfit (gray vintage polka dot dress I wear to weddings, knee high heeled brown boots and the earrings I wore for my wedding), inviting a few friends over, putting a table cloth on our dining room table, serving left over desserts from a party we’d just had and letting the kids drink out of tea cups and glass mugs. None of it was too much trouble and all of it made that dreaded 4-5pm hour go by much more quickly. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOTzdABFhdmRoLnswYtgcnldgg5DAnhC4-qzCq9b_8iHLnjfnd5CrblEGi5Ik5WjXVQvuh5CkDeYW8uZZoKwzEHZQj8Q0Anw-0Q_jErzOPhXZrCopsCLNrRV-em7r0VomuQRB1NhQu0w/s1600/17309427_10101328247029297_6204176182437024883_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOTzdABFhdmRoLnswYtgcnldgg5DAnhC4-qzCq9b_8iHLnjfnd5CrblEGi5Ik5WjXVQvuh5CkDeYW8uZZoKwzEHZQj8Q0Anw-0Q_jErzOPhXZrCopsCLNrRV-em7r0VomuQRB1NhQu0w/s320/17309427_10101328247029297_6204176182437024883_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the fancy party</td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pushing my kid on the swing for more than three and a half minutes or doing some sort of complicated craft with them- those are heroic acts of Mom-ness. When I post about those on social media I would like a parade thrown in my honor and some sort of gold medal. Unfortunately I don’t post about those on social media because they don’t happen. Ever. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I follow a mom on Instagram who’s summer plan involves a different activity each day. To share her fun she’s got hashtags for each day of the week (#makesomethingmonday, #tastytuesday, etc). Her activities are things like creating fun snacks for the kids or art projects involving making homemade paint with food coloring, water and cornstarch and painting the driveway. These are all things that make my skin crawl and leave me grumpy and stabby with my kids if I try to do them. I scrolled through her pictures of kids happy and messy, enjoying the creative activities she’d not only thought up (or taken the time to look up on pinterest) but also prepared ahead of time and then had the wherewithal to capture photographic evidence of the activity (instead of spending the whole time supervising said activity mentally counting down the minutes it could be over while simultaneously preventing the kids from also painting themselves, the car, house and bikes, thereby sucking all fun out of the activity, <i>as I would have done</i>). And I felt guilty. I should do that kind of stuff for my kids. I should get over my deep and abiding hatred of such activities for their sake so they can have fun memories of making messes and eating yogurt covered bananas dipped in chocolate chips they created themselves.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And then I remembered my conversation with my friend all those months ago. And I had a moment of clarity. These activities, the crafts and fun snacks, that’s probably fun for this Instagram mom, just like Fun lists and adventures are fun for me. It probably doesn’t produce the urge to poke her eyes out or chew off her arm just to end the activity. She’s probably not doing incredibly hard things she hates just for the sake of her kids in the same way that I’m not when we check off Summer Fun List items and have adventures.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I think it is a very common misconception when we see other parents doing the kinds of activities that we ourselves find hard/boring/frustrating/violence inducing. We assume that they, too, feel that way about the activity but somehow overcome their aversion in a super human feat of self sacrifice for the kids. We believe our own inability to sacrifice at this level makes us sub par parents and this causes us to discredit all the awesome things we are already doing because they may come more naturally to us. Things that other moms might find hard/boring/frustrating/violence inducing.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildUIB8Z057euRzctap5TmrR3wVH8sL4EYWahwYN0ghOrz6vdTVQHpLD8jhYGW-dwz87o-lqL20ADqjBxx3gbEHiSrBIG_XGU1faJWBYDVInhZCsUinUS7n-VoKkQ0ppl0tOYcmCU-XQ/s1600/IMG_2231.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildUIB8Z057euRzctap5TmrR3wVH8sL4EYWahwYN0ghOrz6vdTVQHpLD8jhYGW-dwz87o-lqL20ADqjBxx3gbEHiSrBIG_XGU1faJWBYDVInhZCsUinUS7n-VoKkQ0ppl0tOYcmCU-XQ/s320/IMG_2231.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'd take this kind of crazy over blowing bubbles with the kids any day of the week </td></tr>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For me, I get out of the house and do stuff with my four kids because between doing that and staying home with them, staying home is the more difficult thing. I am not a homebody. We go to the pool or visit parks we’ve never been to because I prefer that to staying home and doing arts and crafts projects or playing My Little Ponies with them for hours on end (or really for even just five minutes. My Little Ponies suck.). Other moms stay home and create cool pinterest worthy projects for their kids because that is much less difficult for them when faced with the thought of lugging three or four kids out in public. I have a friend who has spent the last year creating awesome reading and writing activities every afternoon for her pre-k kid. He’s a genius and will enter Kindergarten this fall more than a little prepared. I wouldn’t know where to begin to create education activities for my 4 year old. But my friend genuinely liked doing that sort of thing. She used to be a teacher and this kind of thing is right in her wheelhouse.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’m learning to celebrate the moms who are doing what is in their wheelhouse while also remembering that last part. It’s in their wheelhouse. And it doesn’t have to be in my wheelhouse. And I’m giving myself just as much credit when I do the stuff that comes more easily to me. Our kids don’t need us to do it all. They need us to do the stuff that makes us come alive as parents, whether it’s getting out for adventures or creating beautiful crafts, cooking dinner together or homeschooling. I’ve learned from experience that crafts are not fun when mom is tense and short fused the whole time. Neither are adventures out. The kids won’t know the stuff you didn’t do with them. (They’re not on instagram. They don’t even know that making your own paint with cornstarch and food coloring is a thing.) They will remember the stuff you enjoyed doing with them. So do that stuff with zero guilt about the rest. Isn’t that more fun for everyone?</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK2efcRhqL9lLqplyFLKMakcXGMlXPPePMeDoHXRKGX-43X0UDxXa-JTRqvZiAeHvCzokF5WuC1te2w4MVM4hUvpHs-f5JRo9HEfqxvHDFyrbKllcpE8BCZZsPZsfmIvYhr3Xj447ekA/s1600/IMG_2240.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK2efcRhqL9lLqplyFLKMakcXGMlXPPePMeDoHXRKGX-43X0UDxXa-JTRqvZiAeHvCzokF5WuC1te2w4MVM4hUvpHs-f5JRo9HEfqxvHDFyrbKllcpE8BCZZsPZsfmIvYhr3Xj447ekA/s320/IMG_2240.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">adventures make us both happy</td></tr>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-18530995211359574142017-06-19T14:38:00.001-05:002017-09-13T14:09:20.615-05:00A Few Good Books: May<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Despite the insanity that is my life in May (or maybe, as a coping mechanism, <i>because</i> of it) I finished a new record of books last month. Every single one would have been noteworthy in a different month, so narrowing down the top two or three is difficult. But, we can do hard things, right? So for this month’s <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-june-2017/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy Quick Lit</a> link up I give you the very best of what I read in May (and some </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">brief words about the rest).</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">First, the line up:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900489&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gifts+of+imperfection" target="_blank">The Gifts of Imperfection</a> by Brene Brown</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Be-Frank-Julia-Claiborne-Johnson/dp/0062413724/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900531&sr=8-1&keywords=be+frank+with+me" target="_blank">Be Frank with Me</a> by Julia Clairborne Johnson</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Home-World-Reflections-Belonging-Wandering/dp/140020559X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900576&sr=8-1&keywords=At+home+in+the+world" target="_blank">At Home in the World</a> by Tsh Oxenrider</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Anne-Avonlea-Lucy-Maud-Montgomery/dp/1547239999/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900621&sr=8-2&keywords=Anne+of+Avonlea" target="_blank">Anne of Avonlea</a> by Lucy Maud Montgomery</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lillian-Boxfish-Takes-Walk-Novel/dp/1250113326/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1497900685&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk</a> by Kathleen Rooney</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/True-Loves-Taylor-Jenkins-Reid/dp/1476776903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900732&sr=8-1&keywords=one+true+loves" target="_blank">One True Loves</a> by Taylor Jenkins Reid</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hamilton-Revolution-Lin-Manuel-Miranda/dp/1455539740/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900785&sr=8-1&keywords=hamilton+the+revolution" target="_blank">Hamilton the Revolution</a> by Lin Manuel-Miranda and Jermey McCarter</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/El-Deafo-Cece-Bell/dp/1419712179/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900830&sr=8-1&keywords=el+deafo" target="_blank">El Deafo</a> by CeeCee Bell</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dreamland-Burning-Jennifer-Latham/dp/0316384933/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900874&sr=8-1&keywords=dreamland+burning" target="_blank">Dreamland Burning</a> by Jennifer Latham</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Home-World-Reflections-Belonging-Wandering/dp/140020559X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900576&sr=8-1&keywords=At+home+in+the+world" target="_blank">At Home in the World</a> is Tsh Oxenrider’s second book, but my first encounter with her writing. I’ve been listening to her podcast for a little while now and through the blogging world I knew that she and her family had taken a year long trip around the world (and lived to tell the tale!) This book is just that tale. I honestly hesitated to read it. I’ve got some hardcore wanderlust right now and I was worried a book about a fantastic adventure globe trotting with three children would make me a little bitter. I found it to be the exact opposite. Oxenrider writes very honestly about the tension that exists between her adventure seeking traveler spirit and the root longing homebody that also lives in her. She writes beautifully about all the amazing benefits of traveling like that with her family while also acknowledging that it is not perfect and it is not real life. There were very real challenges that came with that experience, ones that were worth it, but challenges all the same. This book made me start planning doable adventures my family could do now, and also appreciate the regular, everyday home life we’ve created for ourselves at the same time. It was a quick read, a thought-provoking read, and I highly recommend it!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I heard about the premise of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/True-Loves-Taylor-Jenkins-Reid/dp/1476776903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900732&sr=8-1&keywords=one+true+loves" target="_blank">One True Loves</a> described as “basically the story of Cast Away only he comes back before she gets married.” I would add that it’s also told from the “Helen Hunt” point of view, as opposed to Tom Hanks. Emma marries her high school sweetheart Jesse who disappears in a helicopter accident on their first wedding anniversary. She returns home to put her life back together and ends up falling for an old acquaintance, Sam. A few months before their wedding Jesse returns and Emma is left with a bit of a dilemma. This was a page turner and I think I finished it in about three days, but I was surprised by how torn I was by her situation. Reid does a good job of making it an impossible situation for all parties. Based on the premise alone I assumed I would be rooting for the story to go one way, but Reid reveals the complexity of love, loyalty and death. This one is a good summer read. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/El-Deafo-Cece-Bell/dp/1419712179/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900830&sr=8-1&keywords=el+deafo" target="_blank">El Deafo</a>. This book wrecked me. I am obviously very invested in this topic, the story of a young girl who goes deaf at age 4 due to a bout with meningitis, and her subsequent years living in the hearing world with hearing aids, not quite in but not quite out. This is CeeCee Bell’s true story, written in graphic novel form. Liam and I read it together and I don’t have enough space here to fully convey how great of an experience it was. Bell’s goal with this memoir was to express how it felt to be deaf in the 70’s in a hearing world. And man, did she do a great job. It opened up so many conversations for us, giving him some language and concrete stories to help him describe his experience. I would recommend this book to anyone, but especially to parents of kids with hearing loss (and the kids themselves!).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dreamland-Burning-Jennifer-Latham/dp/0316384933/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900874&sr=8-1&keywords=dreamland+burning" target="_blank">Dreamland Burning</a> is my read of the month I think (which says a lot ‘cause this was a heck of a month). This is technically a YA, but I think it’s a great read for all ages. Set in Tulsa, OK the book flips back and forth between present day and 1921 in the days leading up to the Tulsa race riots. I knew nothing about this tragic event in history, so everything about it was eye opening. In 1921 the thriving African American community of Greenwood was burned to the ground by rioting whites. There’s a mystery involving the discovery of a dead body that connects both storylines, as well as the reality of racism that may not have lessened as much as we’d like to believe from 1921 to present day. This one stuck with me and I’ve recommended it more than once since finishing it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900489&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gifts+of+imperfection" target="_blank">The Gifts of Imperfection</a> is one of Brene Brown’s earlier books. It’s a short, quick read that I’ll probably return to again, as it’s a good reminder of the importance of leaning into vulnerability and honesty. I picked up <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Be-Frank-Julia-Claiborne-Johnson/dp/0062413724/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900531&sr=8-1&keywords=be+frank+with+me" target="_blank">Be Frank With Me</a> on a whim, to check of the “book you picked solely for the cover” category in my reading challenge. I really loved it and the endearing character of the little boy Frank will stay with me for a while. I’m making my way through the Anne of Green Gables series, reading the second book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Anne-Avonlea-Lucy-Maud-Montgomery/dp/1547239999/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900621&sr=8-2&keywords=Anne+of+Avonlea" target="_blank">Anne of Avonlea</a>. Anne is a little older and a little wiser but just as charming.<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lillian-Boxfish-Takes-Walk-Novel/dp/1250113326/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1497900685&sr=8-1" target="_blank"> Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk</a> was our book club pick this month and I was super delighted with it. Lillian Boxfish is another endearing character and the book follows her as she walks the streets of Manhattan on New Year's Eve, 1985 reflecting on her life and career as the highest paid female ad exec. That premise sounded stupid to me, but I promise it was really good! Finally <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hamilton-Revolution-Lin-Manuel-Miranda/dp/1455539740/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497900785&sr=8-1&keywords=hamilton+the+revolution" target="_blank">Hamilton the Revolution</a> is really only going to be interesting if you are Hamilton obsessed like me. It’s basically the book of lyrics from Lin-Manuel Miranda’s groundbreaking musical interspersed wth stories of how the show came to life and the players that made it happen. The real gem for me were the many footnotes Miranda added to the lyrics pointing out the different easter eggs he’d created or giving background on particular references or lines. I’m a theater nerd and I hardcore love Hamilton so naturally this was right up my alley.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That’s what I’ve got this month, friends! Have you read anything good this month?</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-34190781981936737712017-06-09T13:53:00.000-05:002017-06-09T13:53:03.903-05:0070<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When my dad turned 50 my mom threw him a big surprise party. Our backyard was filled with all the people who loved him: United coworkers, neighborhood friends, family. My sister and I had been the decoy. My mom sent us to Target with him and told us to stall as long as we could. It turns out this is an easy task for two tweens. We puttered around, going up and down every aisle, eventually hanging out in the bathroom for an insanely long time while my poor dad waited outside, his blood pressure slowly rising. By the time we left he was seething but it was the only time I was not phased by his anger. We were doing this for the greater good.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it was all worth it when he rounded the corner behind our house and saw all the people who’d gathered to celebrate this milestone. They had a funny tee-shirt for him and all sorts of “over the hill” paraphernalia. He made his way around our backyard, in his element, laughing and greeting all his people. Later they would all pass around a basket collecting cash for the parking ticket my mom had incurred in the chaos of trying to get everything done for the party. The party, as all my parents’ parties did, lasted well into the summer night.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Celebrating birthdays wasn’t a thing we did very well for my dad, so that’s probably why the 50th stands out. I have no idea what we did for his 60th. I was wrapping up my time in New York, a month away from getting married. Did his birthday get lost that year, wrapped up as we were in wedding planning? I’m sure my mom and siblings had a dinner at home for him like always, but that was probably it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The only other birthday I remember for my dad wasn’t an actual birthday, but the acknowledgement of one. Shortly after my dad’s 63rd birthday he was gathered in our kitchen with his older brothers. I watched them quietly raise a glass of whisky, toasting their father, who had died at 62. As the youngest, my dad was now the last one to make it past that cursed age. Now all three men had celebrated the birthday their father never got to see and there was a murmured recognition of this birthday’s significance for my dad and for them all. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes I wonder if one day my siblings and I will gather in the weeks or months after my youngest brother turns 67 to acknowledge that we made it, that we all passed that milestone my dad never did.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today would have been my dad’s 70th birthday. As I type those words, tears flood my eyes. I'm heavy today, anxious and burdened. Seventy seems particularly significant and, for the first time in a while, I find myself grieving a little more bitterly than usual over this missed milestone. It makes me sad that he never got to see this age, that I will never know what my dad was like in his seventies. For whatever reason that number, 70, feels more significant than the other three birthdays we’ve marked without him. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wonder what we would have done today. It’s easy to say now, on this side of knowing how quickly and without warning a life can end, that we would have planned a big celebration, another backyard blowout, a cake with 70 candles, and “really over the hill” decorations everywhere. In all likelihood though, we would have done what we always did: dinner at my mom’s, a simple toast to my dad, and a few gifts. Either way this longing, this longing to be able to mark in some large or small way my dad entering into a new decade, making it of another year older, this longing is crushing today.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I hate that I don’t know what my dad would be like in his seventies. I hate that I can’t throw him a big party today, or at least share a pint of Guinness with him. I hate that he is forever stuck at age 66 while time keeps moving. The sun will rise and set on June 9, 2017 but this day won’t be the day we want it to be. Instead it’s a “would have been” day. The day my dad would have turned 70 if he’d made it that far. The day we would have celebrated him wildly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I haven’t had a day like this in a while. A day of bitter, hot tears and sharp pangs of longing. I don’t know why this particular milestone feels so hard today but it does. I’m sad. And kinda pissed. Much of the past three and a half years of grieving my dad has involved deep sadness over the loss of all the good he encompassed, sadness over the people who won’t know him, over the ways we no longer get to experience his love and care. Today, if I’m being really honest, I’m mostly just mad that he didn’t get to be 70. That we don’t get to celebrate this passage of time with him. It’s shitty and it sucks.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I know days like this give me a choice. I can let my heart stay hard and bitter in it. I can stay mad and shake my fist at God for not letting my dad at least make it to 70. Or I can let it teach me and grow me. I can use it as a reminder that we are not promised milestones forever so we should celebrate the ones that come with abandon. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have chosen the latter as often as I can, and I know I will continue to do so today. But I will also let myself sit in the anger too. I will let myself long for what “would have been”, even if I know that longing can never be met. The only healthy way around days like these are through them, through the truth of what is hard to the hope of the good that can be found in hard things.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I will get my dad’s favorite burgers for lunch and maybe even down the fries with a Guinness. I’ll be with my mom and my sister tonight. We’ll imagine what celebrating my dad’s 70th birthday would have looked like and we’ll be sad that this particular story will never be told. And tomorrow will be a new day.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy Birthday, Dad. 70 would have looked good on you.</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-52509020068824035232017-05-15T11:09:00.001-05:002017-05-15T11:09:29.709-05:00A Few Good Books: April edition<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On the fifteenth of the month I link up with Modern Mrs. Darcy and share the books I read the previous month. I’ve made a concerted effort to read more this year, and I’m finding that keeping track of what I’ve read and sharing my favorites has helped make that possible. (More thoughts on how I read more <a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2017/01/how-i-read-more-in-2016.html" target="_blank">here</a>.) Plus, I love a good book talk. April was lost to disease in our house-everyone was sick more than once, including me. The only plus to this kind of sick that keeps you horizontal is that you’ve got plenty of time to read, and read I did. I made my way through some good ones this month.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The list:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sun-Also-Star-Yoon-Nicola/dp/0553496689/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864019&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sun+is+also+a+star" target="_blank">The Sun is Also a Star</a> by Nicola Yoon</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wonder-R-J-Palacio/dp/0375869026/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864070&sr=8-1&keywords=wonder" target="_blank">Wonder</a> by R.J. Palacio</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Let-You-Go-Clare-Mackintosh/dp/1101987502/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864109&sr=8-1&keywords=I+Let+you+go" target="_blank">I Let You Go</a> by Claire Mackintosh</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Motherhood-Stuff-Everything-Between-ebook/dp/B01HAKH21C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864153&sr=8-1&keywords=the+magic+of+motherhood" target="_blank">The Magic of Motherhood</a> by Ashlee Gadd and the Coffee + Crumbs team</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rule-Against-Murder-Inspector-Gamache/dp/0312614160/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494864274&sr=1-1&keywords=a+rule+against+murder" target="_blank">A Rule Against Murder</a> by Louise Penny</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Moveable-Feast-Restored-Ernest-Hemingway/dp/143918271X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494864307&sr=1-1&keywords=a+moveable+feast" target="_blank">A Movable Feast</a> by Earnest Hemingway</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Lower-Back-Tattoo/dp/1501139886/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494864395&sr=1-1&keywords=the+girl+with+the+lower+back+tattoo" target="_blank">The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo</a> by Amy Schumer</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sun-Also-Star-Yoon-Nicola/dp/0553496689/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864019&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sun+is+also+a+star" target="_blank">Sun is Also a Star</a> by Nicola Yoon is a delightful YA novel about two teens in New York City. Natasha is an illegal immigrant, brought to the states at age nine by her parents, who is about to be deported back to Jamaica. She meets Daniel, a Korean-American teen on the morning she is frantically trying every last ditch effort to stop her impending deportment. The book follows the two throughout the day as they fall in love (as only two teens can in a few hours), fall apart and come back together. The book also injects chapters from the point of view of the many people they encounter throughout the day. It was a charming book with surprising depth about family, home, young love, and that universal truth that there is always more to people that what you see on the surface. I really loved this book and would recommend it to teens and adults alike. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">R.J. Palacio’s <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wonder-R-J-Palacio/dp/0375869026/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864070&sr=8-1&keywords=wonder" target="_blank">Wonder</a> is an upper grades children’s novel. I picked it up because I’d heard great things about it, but also because I’d wanted something new to read with Liam. Its main character, Auggie, is a young boy with severe facial deformities due to a genetic condition he was born with. Auggie has been homeschooled his whole life but as the book begins we find that he’s about the start the fifth grade, middle school for this New York City school. Auggie’s facial deformities are such that people react instinctually and poorly upon seeing him. The book follows his fifth grade year as he makes friends, deals with bullies and adjusts to life in school, all told through the perspectives of Auggie and the people who surround him. I loved this book and I loved reading it with Liam. I’d intended to read it to him each night, but he was quickly hooked and went ahead without me. This left us fighting for possession of the book regularly. It was on the high end of Liam’s reading level and I’m glad I read it along side him because we were able to check in on comprehension stuff. Plus, my book nerdery loves chatting books with my kid. A super sweet book that gives kids a chance to practice empathy and understanding. I loved it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Before I’d even picked up<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Let-You-Go-Clare-Mackintosh/dp/1101987502/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864109&sr=8-1&keywords=I+Let+you+go" target="_blank"> I Let You Go</a> by Claire Mackintosh I knew it was a fast paced story with a twist “you never see coming.” This meant, naturally, I was on high alert, my mind forming theory after theory as I read as to what this twist must be. And even though I’d been warned, even though I’d been looking for it, there was indeed a twist that smacked me right in the face, so unprepared was I for it. This is the story of a boy who dies in a hit and run, the detectives following the case, and how it all can change in a moment. Mackintosh does a really good job with multiple perspectives. It was well written, engaging and with a killer twist.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.coffeeandcrumbs.net/" target="_blank">Coffee + Crumbs</a> is a collaborative website with stories from motherhood. This book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Motherhood-Stuff-Everything-Between-ebook/dp/B01HAKH21C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494864153&sr=8-1&keywords=the+magic+of+motherhood" target="_blank">The Magic of Motherhood</a>, is a collection of essays from the women who run the blog. I caught wind of it because one of the writers, Anna Jordan, is the daughter of Ryann’s beloved pre-school teacher. It is a beautiful book, both the writing and the images sprinkled throughout. The essays are a great mix of voices and topics and I love that it covers all aspects of motherhood: from pregnancy through birth, joys and loss, biological, foster care and adoption. You can find traces of your unique story in all aspects of this book. It would make a great gift for a new mom, or an experienced one. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Rule-Against-Murder-Inspector-Gamache/dp/0312614160/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494864274&sr=1-1&keywords=a+rule+against+murder" target="_blank">A Rule Against Murder</a> is the fourth in Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache series. I’d heard that she hits her stride by the fourth book, each becoming better and I did find this one to be my favorite so far. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Moveable-Feast-Restored-Ernest-Hemingway/dp/143918271X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494864307&sr=1-1&keywords=a+moveable+feast" target="_blank">A Moveable Feast</a> by Hemingway was our book club pick. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up otherwise, but I was glad I read it and terribly disappointed when the plague that was April kept me from book club that month to discuss it. It was an interesting look at Hemingway’s life as an unknown writer in Paris. The English major nerd in me loved seeing his encounters with other well known writers from that time. It also made me want to pick up and move to Paris, but only if I could also go back in time to the 1920's. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Lower-Back-Tattoo/dp/1501139886/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494864395&sr=1-1&keywords=the+girl+with+the+lower+back+tattoo" target="_blank"> The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo</a>, Schumer’s first memoir, was interesting, insightful and funny. I fell in love with Schumer when I saw her randomly on Ellen once, and I’ve long loved her stuff, relating to it in so many ways while also feeling like she is often on a different planet than me. The book felt the same. She is funny and smart and I inherently “got” her but also felt completely foreign from her. Which, for me, makes it a great voice.</span></span></div>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-47073323274756720972017-05-08T10:39:00.000-05:002017-05-08T10:39:11.951-05:00On being open and grounded in parenting<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It happened at Chick-fil-et this time. As I scrambled to grab utensils and ketchup packages before our food made it’s way to the table I saw a man talking to my friend who was listening and also scanning for me. I approached the table, taking stock of the man’s hearing aids and use of sign while he spoke. He was deaf and he’d spotted my son’s implant. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love when we see adults or kids who wear hearing aids or cochlear implants. I usually make a point to show Liam and sometimes we’ll say hello. It doesn’t bother me and I want Liam to see other people who are also deaf. As I suspected this man had seen Liam. He asked about his implant and then mentioned when he talked to Liam he’d signed and Liam hadn’t really responded. Did he know sign language?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“No, not really. He knows a few signs, we did a little when he was first learning to listen and speak, but pretty soon he didn’t need it as much.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Oh. You know it might be helpful to have him learn sign. You never know what might happen that would have him need to be able to communicate with sign.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I gave a bit of a non-committal answer and commented that yes, we do hope to get him interested in sign someday. This very kind man and I chatted for a bit longer, he made a point to say he’d be working there through the summer and he’d be happy to help Liam learn sign, adding that he knows how important it is for deaf kids to have role models in deaf adults. I thanked him and made a point to mention that Liam does have some adults and peers in his life who also wear cochlear implants. Later he came back to our table to ask if we liked to watch movies. He recommended one with Marlee Matlin, a famous Deaf actress, about parents with a deaf son who were trying to decide if their son should get a cochlear implant. I hadn’t heard of the movie and told him I’d check it out. I’m willing to bet there was at least a little of an anti-cochlear implant sentiment throughout the film.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On the surface it was a pretty benign conversation with a deaf man about my deaf son. And yet, because I am aware of the intricacies of Deaf culture, the complicated feelings about cochlear implants, and the judgements some make about the decisions hearing parents make for deaf children, I knew there was a lot going on underneath this polite conversations. I knew what he wasn’t necessarily saying and he likely knew the same for me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Interactions like this stir in me a strange combination of both defensiveness and openness. The conversation is loaded and I wonder what assumptions this person has made about our family and our decisions and my ability to parent my son. I often replay these conversations, defensive about our choices, anxiously crafting imaginary arguments and point by point rebuttals of his unspoken judgments. And yet he knows something about the world my son exists in that I will never fully know. And I can’t discredit that. I want to listen when he speaks because he has something to teach me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am learning the truth that white parents of black and brown children have come to understand for decades, they need to look outside themselves to help their children navigate the world. There are identity issues and challenges that require parents to reach out to others who can understand these things in a different way. Even though I carried this child in my body, we will experience the world differently and I need to be open to understanding that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so I try to stay open. When I feel defensiveness creep up, when I want to shout, “I’m not a bad mother! I’m making thoughtful, intentional decisions for him!” in the face of a man who is genuinely trying to offer help and perspective that only he can, I need to stop and listen. I need to receive the information and let it shape my parenting.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But before it informs how I parent, I need to sift through it, to hold it up against decisions that I know deep in my bones were the right ones. I must first ground myself confidently in what I know is true. I am confident in our decisions. I know we did the right thing for Liam. And I know we are doing our very best to surround him with other deaf adults and peers. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don’t have to let every opinion and perspective of every well meaning stranger inform my decisions with Liam. I only have to stay open. Open and grounded. Both/and.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I suspect this may be a parenting truth for us all. To stay grounded in the decisions we have made with careful intention while staying open to the understanding that there is always a different perspective that may be helpful. If we insecurely let everyone else’s opinions on parenting sway our every decision we will be inconsistent and unmoored, our poor children constantly having to adjust to whatever new idea we’ve decided we must chase down. But if we stubbornly dig into “our way” without allowing for outside wisdom we risk missing the deeply individual needs of our children, for even those for whom the apple does not fall far from the tree still are not exact replicas of their parents.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so maybe we’ll head back to Chick-fil-et this summer for sign language lessons. I know this second language would be good for Liam and we have always said it’s a skill he needs. But I won’t regret or second guess our decision to focus first on listening and spoken language. It was the right choice for us and I'm glad we made it. </span></span></div>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-74835522117364596322017-04-17T10:16:00.001-05:002017-04-17T10:16:33.317-05:00A Few Good Books: March<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s the 15th! Which means I’m linking up with <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-april-2017/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy</a> to share a few of the best books I read during the month of March. I covered some good ones and a few worth raving about. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here’s what I read in March</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cruelest-Month-Chief-Inspector-Gamache/dp/0312573502/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441790&sr=8-1&keywords=the+cruelest+month+louise+penny" target="_blank">The Cruelest Month</a> by Louise Penny</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441859&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Road+Back+to+you" target="_blank">The Road Back to You</a> by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Tells-Me-Defending-Scripture/dp/0062272039/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441910&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Bible+tells+me+so" target="_blank">The Bible Tells Me So</a> by Peter Enns</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Born-Crime-Stories-African-Childhood/dp/0399588175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441959&sr=8-1&keywords=Born+A+crime" target="_blank">Born a Crime</a> by Trevor Noah</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Americanah-Chimamanda-Ngozi-Adichie/dp/0307455920/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492442004&sr=8-1&keywords=Americanah" target="_blank">Americanah</a> by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Good-as-Gone-Novel-Suspense/dp/1328745554/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492442049&sr=8-1&keywords=Good+as+gone" target="_blank">Good as Gone</a> by Amy Gentry</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441859&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Road+Back+to+you" target="_blank">The Road Back to You</a> is a look at the Enneagram personality typing. I’ve been dipping my toes in this somewhat ancient way of looking at our selves, how we respond in stress and at our best. I had heard good things about this book and had spent some time listening to the podcast these authors host. This book was a really great introduction to the Enneagram. It covers the theory behind it and goes through each of the nine types in pretty good detail. It certainly isn’t an all-encompassing, comprehensive look at the Enneagram but it’s a great starter and it made me want to look into other resources on the topic. The authors’ writing style is very warm and accessible as well. Overall I definitely recommend it!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Born-Crime-Stories-African-Childhood/dp/0399588175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441959&sr=8-1&keywords=Born+A+crime" target="_blank">Born a Crime</a> is Daily Show Trevor Noah’s memoir about his childhood and young adult life in South Africa during Apartheid. Noah was born to a white father and black mother, which during this era in South Africa’s history was literally a crime. I’d listened to some interviews by Noah in recent months and have been struck by his wisdom and insight when it came to some of the things that were happening in our country. I was super excited to get my hands on this memoir. Noah writes like he talks and I could almost audibly hear him through the words on the page. His stories and antecdotes were entertaining, eye opening and thought provoking. The thing I most appreciated about this book was the education on South African Apartheid that Noah provides. Each chapter is framed with a short “lesson” on different aspects of what happened during the Apartheid era. There was so much that I didn’t know and Noah gave the reader a master class in an entertaining, approachable and interesting manner.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Americanah-Chimamanda-Ngozi-Adichie/dp/0307455920/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492442004&sr=8-1&keywords=Americanah" target="_blank">Americanah</a> was my read of the month. It’s the story of two Nigerians and their respective experiences immigrating to America and London, and then their return back to their homeland. This book made me think about so many topics: the experience of immigrants, race in America and England, the way hard life experiences change and shape us. It was SO well written, and the characters so well developed. This is a book that will stay with me for a while. One of the characters writes an anonymous blog about race in America and the author incorporated these fictional blog posts into the book beautifully. It made me wish that this blog actually existed. I love good fiction that highlights the experiences of others in a way that helps foster empathy and understanding and this book is heading to the top of my list of books in this category.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m slowly making my way through the Inspector Gamache series and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cruelest-Month-Chief-Inspector-Gamache/dp/0312573502/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441790&sr=8-1&keywords=the+cruelest+month+louise+penny" target="_blank">The Cruelest Month </a>was the third in the series. Penny’s created a great cast of characters in these books and they keep me coming back. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Tells-Me-Defending-Scripture/dp/0062272039/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492441910&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Bible+tells+me+so" target="_blank">The Bible Tells Me So</a> was a super fascinating look at how our culture’s way of reading the bible in order to defend it’s divine accuracy is ruining our ability to actually read and experience the bible as God intended. It’s changing the way I read the bible. And <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Good-as-Gone-Novel-Suspense/dp/1328745554/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492442049&sr=8-1&keywords=Good+as+gone" target="_blank">Good as Gone</a> was the palate cleansing page turner I needed after the much heavier Americanah. It was a fast paced, well told story of a girl who returns 8 years after being kidnapped. Questions abound over who the girl really is and what really happened. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That’s my March reading! What did you read? Anything I should be adding to my ever growing to read list?</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-29583418045259761462017-04-11T14:41:00.001-05:002017-04-11T14:41:49.140-05:00Podcasts<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love, love, love Podcasts. A good podcast will make me 99% more productive and it always makes the nightly routine of cleaning up the kitchen more enjoyable (not to mention drowns out the sound of my kids screeching while Tommy bathes them). If I’m working out, going on a walk, cleaning my house, folding laundry, etc., I’m listening to a podcast. I’ve been listening to these for years but I’ve really seen a huge uptick in content in the last year or so. For your listening pleasure I thought I’d share a few podcasts you may enjoy. (If you’re new to podcasts, <a href="http://www.hollywoodhousewife.com/2015/04/sorta-awesome-podcast-and-how-to-listen-to-podcasts-101.html" target="_blank">this tutorial</a> is a good place to learn how to find them/listen to them)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-popcast-with-knox-and-jamie/id712316884?mt=2" target="_blank">The Popcast</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This one is my favorite, and the one I’m usually quickest to listen to every week. This is also the podcast I would be doing right now if it wasn’t already being done. Knox and Jamie are a delightful duo, they are funny and snarky (though my sister thinks they are too mean) and they talk about all things pop culture. I find myself wishing I could jump into the conversation regularly. Even if you are not a pop culture aficionado, it’s worth a listen. Jump in wherever and enjoy!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-baby-sitters-club-club/id1087126210?mt=2" target="_blank">The Baby Sitters Club Club</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This was a more recent discovery but I’ve come to adore this podcast. Two thirty something men are reading the Baby Sitters Club books and discussing them. The secret sauce of this podcast is in the two hosts themselves. One review described them as “Frasier Crane and Andy Dwyer” which could not be more perfect. They are hilarious and they discuss these books as though it were a 200 level English Lit course. There are a lot of inside jokes that carry throughout the show, so I’d start at episode one.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/in-the-dark/id1148175292?mt=2" target="_blank">In the Dark</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the Dark is an investigative reporting podcast. It wrapped up season one, which looked at the Jacob Wetterling case, one of the first child kidnapping cases to get national attention. This look at the case was so thought-provoking for me and it made me pay attention to a number of subjects I usually don’t consider, such as accountability in police investigative work and the sexual offender registry laws. You can binge all of season one now and they just announced that they are working on season two.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mystery-show/id952044185?mt=2" target="_blank">The Mystery Show</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is only one season of this brilliant, brilliant podcast, and sadly it looks like it will stay that way as the creator and media company have parted ways, but The Mystery Show was one of my all time favorite podcasts. Starlee Kine, the host, solves mysteries every week, the everyday, ordinary mysteries that you can’t solve just by turning to Mother Google. I realize I’m making it sound kind of stupid, but Starlee has a special charm and an unbelievable gift of interviewing and relating to people. She has a conversation with a Ticketmaster employee that I still think about. Belt Buckle is my favorite, but all are pretty great. (This clip of her on Conan is particularly endearing.) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Liturgists: Lost and Found Series and Black and White</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is a podcast hosted by Michael Gungor of the band Gungor and Mike McHargue (commonly known as Science Mike). I’ve really enjoyed The Liturgists but the L<a href="http://www.theliturgists.com/podcast/2014/10/14/episode-6-lost-and-found-part-1" target="_blank">ost and Found episodes </a>(episodes 6 and 7) were the ones that drew me in. The hosts share their experiences having a “crisis of faith” or all out loss of it and in my own dark season of doubt these voices were calming and loving guides. The other episode, <a href="http://www.theliturgists.com/podcast/2016/3/29/episode-34-black-and-white-racism-in-america" target="_blank">Black and White </a>(episode 34), is a conversation with Michael and Mike (who are white) and Propaganda and William Matthews (two black men) about race, racism and white supremacy in America. This conversation happened almost a year ago, as Trump was gaining steam in the primaries, and, well, now that we’ve seen how that turned out, I think it’s all the more relevant. HIGHLY recommend it!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Heavyweight: Gregor</span></span></div>
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This podcast only has one season, and I don’t know if another is coming or not but I really loved it. The host, Jonathan (who has a really endearing self-deprecating humor) interviews people who are haunted by the “what could have been” moments of life. Maybe a single moment, that had it played out a different way, could have changed the course of your life. Jonathan takes them on an adventure where they go back to the people and places to find out what if. I actually really loved and would recommend all the episodes but <a href="https://gimletmedia.com/episode/2-gregor/" target="_blank">Gregor</a> (episode 2), in particular, really stuck with me. His friend Gregor lent some CDs to a friend who would later use them to create the album that made him a rockstar. Gregor never got the recognition he thought he deserved, so Jonathan helps him go about making peace with that. It ended up being a fascinating conversation about art and fame and recognition and career fulfillment. (I’ll also slip in episode 7 “Julia” which made me want to reckon with my middle school bullies.) </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I just discovered <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/missing-richard-simmons/id1203092300?mt=2" target="_blank">Missing Richard Simmons </a>and it is a fascinating look at the mystery surrounding Richard Simmons- am I the only one who didn’t know that he’s been essentially missing for almost three years??? I also just finished the super popular <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/s-town/id1212558767?mt=2" target="_blank">S-Town</a>. I actually have some big feelings about this podcast that I'm trying to sort through, more than I could say here, but it's definitely worth listening to and will stir up </span>lots<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> of conversation.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Also, I’m always dreaming up my next project and lately I’ve really wanted to do a podcast. </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We’ll see if it goes anywhere, but for now it’s a fun dream. This is just a small slice of the podcasts I’m loving. I’m sure somewhere down the road I’ll write a part two to this. Have you been listening to anything good??</span></div>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-15042843529101804532017-03-15T10:52:00.000-05:002017-03-15T10:55:43.968-05:00A Few Good Books: February<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It’s that time again. Once a month I link up with my favorite book whisperer <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-march-2017/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy</a> and share the best of what I read the previous month. Let me tell you, February was a doozy! Typically I only share thoughts on the very best two or three books that I’ve read, but this month I could probably write individual posts on each of the seven books I read! Some of this strayed from my normal reading habits and much of it provided some of the most thought provoking material I’ve had in a long time. I’m still thinking about much of what I read last month. I’ll try to keep everything brief. Here’s what I read in February.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sound-Gravel-Memoir-Ruth-Wariner/dp/1250077699/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592293&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Sound+of+Gravel" target="_blank">The Sound of Gravel</a> by Ruth Wariner</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOtRG7hmUnrKCMUdSDur9jxSTPgbP-zUU9l0AzAl46_VQhQn3kdvOXS2XwGJDkEOBHZ_7fvxN63ttKgXkCMjfmSQdtCjar3piTrCQjFJt0A3bh2p7_tNJhzhsHSvzuMT_NnkWNCK_bnw/s1600/sog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOtRG7hmUnrKCMUdSDur9jxSTPgbP-zUU9l0AzAl46_VQhQn3kdvOXS2XwGJDkEOBHZ_7fvxN63ttKgXkCMjfmSQdtCjar3piTrCQjFJt0A3bh2p7_tNJhzhsHSvzuMT_NnkWNCK_bnw/s200/sog.jpg" width="131" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Another favorite book guru, Laura Tremaine, raved about this book, calling it the best thing she’d read in 2016. While it likely won’t top my best of the year book, it certainly captivated me and gave me a lot to think about. Ruth Wariner is the thirty-ninth of her father’s forty-two children. Born into a polygamous Mormon sect in rural Mexico, Wariner’s memoir sits firmly in this context without being about a polygamous Mormon sect. It’s a story about poverty and family, religious convictions and the bravery to go against them. I was so struck by Wariner’s mother and the way she could love her children so fiercely and also be so desperate for love herself; at times these two truths felt at odds with each other. I was unprepared for the ending of this book and it took me a bit to recover. All in all, I highly recommend this one.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Course-Love-Novel-Alain-Botton/dp/1501134256/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592361&sr=1-1&keywords=the+course+of+love" target="_blank">The Course of Love</a> by Alain DeBotton</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRG5qUzLKicQTEeyUl_vExVQn0xF-pi6mRXHDcWEJrEOAgkIGIKDEfOWWNXwYKXSCFUDvK8RcqIAywy8eDSm5HrJIOFc-giJ9ik1au7fzbmATk-6VDrcswUNLP0Cjb6zBsWkHpjLRv_Q/s1600/col.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRG5qUzLKicQTEeyUl_vExVQn0xF-pi6mRXHDcWEJrEOAgkIGIKDEfOWWNXwYKXSCFUDvK8RcqIAywy8eDSm5HrJIOFc-giJ9ik1au7fzbmATk-6VDrcswUNLP0Cjb6zBsWkHpjLRv_Q/s200/col.jpg" width="133" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ve raved about this book on Instagram, recommended it to everyone I saw while I was reading it and gave it as a birthday gift last month. I made the mistake of checking this out from the library, which was a tragedy because if I’d owned a copy I’d have underlined probably two-thirds of it (something I <i>rarely </i>do with a novel). As it stands I have a dozen or so pictures on my phone of lines that stopped me in my tracks with their truth and beauty. The novel tells the story of a couple as they fall in love, get married, have kids, fall away from each other and come back together again. It is average and mundane in its details. This is the secret genius; you can’t help but see yourself in the characters and their inner dialogue. Interspersed throughout this story is a third voice, I came to think of it as the professor teaching a Course of Love, using the man and woman in the story to teach deeper truths about love and relationships and humanity. That is where the best of the book shines. Some of the lines took my breath away and I had to put the book down and just ponder it all. I’m not doing this book adequate justice. It’s a piece of art and it made me want to be a better partner to Tommy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Upstream-Selected-Essays-Mary-Oliver/dp/1594206708/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592421&sr=1-1&keywords=upstream+mary+oliver" target="_blank">Upstream</a> by Mary Oliver</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5KQhhGBGgzgGR5lRz8xi0edHZ30DGCHcAK9052zXVY3DPY3tvmebMYn92Zlqgn-2N0VPl4DoU6Jc0lde_khJDtGSDbGXD4woOi_NxViqR3yXfXPgIhNupFCKuJpV1KXhymBzJ5bo1_g/s1600/us.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5KQhhGBGgzgGR5lRz8xi0edHZ30DGCHcAK9052zXVY3DPY3tvmebMYn92Zlqgn-2N0VPl4DoU6Jc0lde_khJDtGSDbGXD4woOi_NxViqR3yXfXPgIhNupFCKuJpV1KXhymBzJ5bo1_g/s200/us.jpg" width="131" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ve long loved Mary Oliver and God has met me more than once in the lines of her poetry. When I heard she had a book of essays out and my local bookstore was doing a book discussion on it, I couldn’t buy it fast enough. To be perfectly honest, this wasn’t what I expected. There were some real gems in it and the book discussion I went to actually made me appreciate it more than I think I would have had I just read it on my own, but in all I think I’d hoped to walk away from these essays knowing and loving Mary Oliver the person more. I don’t know if it was fair to expect that from a book, but regardless that’s not what happened. I’d still recommend it to those who love Oliver, and it was worth it for the handful of essays that really moved me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Essentialism-Disciplined-Pursuit-Greg-McKeown/dp/0804137382/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592457&sr=1-1&keywords=Essentialism" target="_blank">Essentialism</a> by Greg McKeown</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoW8yFGI1_Ymwh6_TilStY-fh1GFwlqNDacH5VkNHErkV4jCxqXjh1fzZdabTLJ-dOZ9JLiEENLMAITXYJkfd8rnHEht0FC0FQmfpkbcqCRhLRdyAcbi2WBmJmqYow63IVFM7J7qUNXg/s1600/es.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoW8yFGI1_Ymwh6_TilStY-fh1GFwlqNDacH5VkNHErkV4jCxqXjh1fzZdabTLJ-dOZ9JLiEENLMAITXYJkfd8rnHEht0FC0FQmfpkbcqCRhLRdyAcbi2WBmJmqYow63IVFM7J7qUNXg/s200/es.jpg" width="133" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This was our book club pick this month and I’m really glad because I may not have picked it up otherwise. I feel like this is a common theme in our society right now, how to say no, how to do less, how to pare back to only what is essential. McKeown offers some solid wisdom and it came at a time when I’m really trying to discern what is essential and what I have to offer. I put into place a few ideas from this book and I’ll probably return to it again next year. It was a good “beginning of a new year” kind of read.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Anne-of-Green-Gables/dp/B01KGL17UY/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592536&sr=1-2&keywords=anne+of+green+gables+audible" target="_blank">Anne of Green Gables</a> by L.M.Montgomery</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9vJqkag7MxkX7qpCJ28ce-AxoErCOzv2qnMYb9jOqAKjVnqSztWPYyaNH4lopLZycSkH0AYRcP93HJyEydoVAgxBRzPX79HegiMxVDfrhN6MA-M_9sOwF9zaDvGqQCOR3Z2dZv82TqQ/s1600/IMG_1653.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9vJqkag7MxkX7qpCJ28ce-AxoErCOzv2qnMYb9jOqAKjVnqSztWPYyaNH4lopLZycSkH0AYRcP93HJyEydoVAgxBRzPX79HegiMxVDfrhN6MA-M_9sOwF9zaDvGqQCOR3Z2dZv82TqQ/s200/IMG_1653.PNG" width="111" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I grew up on the PBS movie version of Anne Shirley, but somehow I don’t know that I’ve ever read the whole book. It’s been on my list for a while, but when I saw that Audible had a version narrated by Rachel McAdams, and it was on sale I couldn’t press buy fast enough. The story was delightful, as I knew it would be, but it was enhanced so much by McAdams voice. Anne Shirley has become one of my new favorite literary heroines and as the mother of two little red headed girls, I can’t wait to introduce them to her someday. I’v got Anne of Avonlea on my shelf to read next.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Train-Paula-Hawkins/dp/1594634025/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592572&sr=1-1&keywords=the+girl+on+the+train" target="_blank">The Girl on the Train </a>by Paula Hawkins</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTY9aoFG2jRy42enDfvljP0DNJJ4U8OfOpsHojzUY6w-Cw42ZGafnEy6XxxOPSiS4vuK9Vm_Ec93t_CCmzCXl9hskiTquinLiFnRWUhBajLHhVL3E6SXgj33S1z8KNsOE_7t293XfNw/s1600/gott.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTY9aoFG2jRy42enDfvljP0DNJJ4U8OfOpsHojzUY6w-Cw42ZGafnEy6XxxOPSiS4vuK9Vm_Ec93t_CCmzCXl9hskiTquinLiFnRWUhBajLHhVL3E6SXgj33S1z8KNsOE_7t293XfNw/s200/gott.jpg" width="128" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I’ve avoided most of the “Girl” books that have popped up in the last few years. I needed to read a book with an unreliable narrator for a book challenge I’m doing and I also was interested in watching the movie (because Emily Blunt is one of my favorites) so I figured I’d pick it up as a quick, palette cleansing read. It was WAY better than I expected. It’s a page-turner with characters that had more depth than I expected. I highly enjoyed it and would absolutely recommend it, even if, like me, you try to stay away from any books with “the girl” in the title.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Another-Life-Taylor-Jenkins/dp/1476776881/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489592604&sr=1-1&keywords=maybe+in+another+life" target="_blank">Maybe in Another Life</a> by Taylor Jenkins Reid</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4DlaYPeH6bm5w1oQvmOH5uLSrozvvVlemjQ0ujx7GeEKGZj7tX-3a42kFRZbWyi9Is4MaVNKFneiIO9c4dZdCVdPzBDtgwbpZKofb12Ds-Bf8H2NYo97xHDyLGORlW7MgbWWy7zNNGg/s1600/mial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4DlaYPeH6bm5w1oQvmOH5uLSrozvvVlemjQ0ujx7GeEKGZj7tX-3a42kFRZbWyi9Is4MaVNKFneiIO9c4dZdCVdPzBDtgwbpZKofb12Ds-Bf8H2NYo97xHDyLGORlW7MgbWWy7zNNGg/s200/mial.jpg" width="128" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This came recommended as “a book with a reputation for being un-put-down-able” for that same reading challenge. I was headed out of town for a few days and like to have those kinds of books to entertain me on flights so I picked it up a few days before I left on my trip. True to its description, I couldn’t put it down and ended up finishing it before I even left on my trip! This is a novel about the two different life paths that could stem from one decision. The premise sounded kind of stupid to be honest, but I found that Reid did a phenomenal job of adding nuance and thought to what could have just been a “Sliding Doors” novel. It's an easy read (and not necessarily the highest of quality writing) but a solid story. </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And I was not expecting the ending to be so surprising and strangely satisfying. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So those are A LOT of words about seven really great books! I don’t think I’ll be able to read quite that much in March, but I’m in the middle of a few really great books and my hold on a highly anticipated memoir just came up at the library so hopefully I’ll have something to report next month. How about you? What are you reading?</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-78652202073805169182017-02-21T21:39:00.000-06:002017-02-21T21:39:03.748-06:00To Messier Houses in 2017<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think it was J.K. Rowling who, when asked how she managed to write those epic books while raising her young children as a single parent, responded that while she was writing her house was a disaster, her bathrooms unclean and the laundry left to pile up. She said you can’t do it all, all the time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I first heard that truth I “Amen, sister”-ed and mentally high-fived a thousand angels. And then I probably went back to cleaning my bathroom.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve been home with my four kids full time for eighteen months, since just before the youngest was born. I stepped down from a part-time role in youth ministry because frankly, having four kids in five years will break you a little. That and no one wants to watch that many kids for free anymore (not even grandma). </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I found myself home a lot more. And suddenly every cabinet and closets and hidden nooks and crannies in my home began screaming for attention. I noticed all the things I should be attending to that I’d previously been unable to pay attention to when I was working part-time outside of the home. My to-do list had monthly projects like cleaning out every closet and cabinet or finally getting around to organizing all those photo albums. Once I started paying attention to these projects that could but did not need to be done my lists grew exponentially, multiplying like those proverbial rabbits.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And one day I realized that my house was regularly clean, the laundry was done and put away and the major monthly projects were slowly getting done, but my "career" was non-existent. There is more order than I could possibly need in my home, but not enough fulfilling, creative work in my life. And I was filled with more angst and less energy than I’d ever felt during my most chaotic days of being a “working mom.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the past few months I've set about trying to reverse that. I redesigned my weekly rhythms, building in time for creative work and writing when I am most mentally energized, in the mornings at the beginning of the week. I reprioritized when and how I get things done. I tackle my work first, the work that gives me energy and stretches my mental muscles. I fit in workouts in different pockets than I had done before, in an effort to give my best time to the work. And I leave cleaning for the end of the week, when I’m pretty mentally fried anyway. (I’ve also taught my kids to dust and clean bathrooms which has changed my life in immeasurable ways.) I’ve also reprioritized what <i>needs</i> to get done to keep our house afloat and keep me from going crazy and let go of what <i>could </i>get done but could also just as easily be ignored. I stopped putting five big “organization/cleaning” projects on my monthly to do list. I put one on there and don’t stress too much if I never get to it. This means my photo albums are unfinished and my closets a bit chaotic. But my soul is singing in a way that it wasn’t before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m writing more and planning other projects. I’ve engaged in activist work in a way that has connected me freshly to God. I’m happier in my home because I don’t feel a slave to it, which in turn makes me better to my people who live in that home. They were simple tweaks, inspired by the realization that all the order and organization in my home would never bring me the joy fulfilling and energizing creative work would. And the reminder that J.K. Rowling didn’t write those beloved books while also keeping a spotless house. It’s better for me and my family when our house is a little messier but mama feels a little more whole.</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-14597857237315256242017-02-15T11:45:00.001-06:002017-02-15T11:45:14.867-06:00A Few Good Books: January<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In an effort to continue the<a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2017/01/how-i-read-more-in-2016.html" target="_blank"> good reading habits I got into last year</a>, I’m trying to regularly post with <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-february-2017/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Quick Lit</a> linkups this year. I’ll share all the books I read each month and talk a bit more in depth about the best two or three. And so, without further ado-January in books:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hatching-Twitter-Story-Friendship-Betrayal/dp/1591847087/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179356&sr=8-1&keywords=hatching+twitter" target="_blank">Hatching Twitter</a> by Nick Bolton</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Railroad-National-Winner-Oprahs/dp/0385542364/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179474&sr=8-1&keywords=the+underground+railroad" target="_blank">The Underground Railroad</a> by Colson Whitehead</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Very-Good-Gospel-Everything-Wrong/dp/160142857X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179418&sr=8-1&keywords=the+very+good+gospel" target="_blank">The Very Good Gospel </a>by Lisa Sharon Harper</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Space-Table-Conversations-Evangelical-Theologian/dp/0997066903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179531&sr=8-1&keywords=space+at+the+table" target="_blank">Space at the Table</a> by Brad and Drew Harper</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Fatal-Grace-Chief-Inspector-Gamache/dp/0312541163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179571&sr=8-1&keywords=fatal+grace" target="_blank">A Fatal Grace</a> </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">by Louise Penny</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The very best thing I read this month was <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Underground-Railroad-National-Winner-Oprahs/dp/0385542364/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179474&sr=8-1&keywords=the+underground+railroad" target="_blank">The Underground Railroad</a> by Colson Whitehead. It was on every best of book list last year and won a ton of awards and I understand why. It imagines the underground railroad as an actual railroad system with conductors and station masters but that actually isn’t what the book is about. It follows a slave on her escape from the deep south up north. It was fascinating and eye opening and made me realize how much I don’t know about slavery. We learn the sanitized version in elementary school and that’s usually it. I want to find some more books on the topic this year. Also, it was interesting to me to get a better understanding of just how hard it was to oppose slavery in the deep south. I could write a whole separate post about this but it was sobering to realize that it wasn’t until they got further up north that I could recognize myself in the allies and abolitionists. To be so in the deep south required more bravery than I may have possessed. It’s easy to say I would have been the kind of person to help slaves to safety through the underground railroad, but this book opened my eyes to exactly what that kind of risk demanded. It was harder than our elementary school teachers made it seem. This will likely go on my list of lifetime required reading.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Space-Table-Conversations-Evangelical-Theologian/dp/0997066903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179531&sr=8-1&keywords=space+at+the+table" target="_blank">Space at the Table</a> by father and son Brad and Drew Harper surprised and captivated me. I heard it mentioned in passing on a podcast I was listening to while en route to the library. On a whim I looked to see if they had it and they did, so I picked it up while I was there. It is a conversation between a conservative Evangelical Christian father and his gay son. They shared their story of Drew’s childhood, coming out and young adulthood, along the way humbly and vulnerably giving the reader a glimpse into the mistakes they made along the way as they grappled with what this truth about Drew and the ways it conflicted with some core Evangelical beliefs meant for their family. I didn’t always agree with some of the beliefs the father, Brad, held, but I could not deny the deep love, respect and grace they had for and with each other. They had found a beautiful peace with each other and themselves, and I very much appreciated the hard won truths they shared about a way forward. It was honest and grace-filled and I was thankful to have picked it up on a whim</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hatching-Twitter-Story-Friendship-Betrayal/dp/1591847087/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179356&sr=8-1&keywords=hatching+twitter" target="_blank">Hatching Twitter</a> is the story of the creation of Twitter. It was engrossing, eye-opening and entertaining. I had no idea there was so much drama involved in the hatching of that little blue bird. In <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Very-Good-Gospel-Everything-Wrong/dp/160142857X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179418&sr=8-1&keywords=the+very+good+gospel" target="_blank">The Very Good Gospel</a> Harper rethinks how we define the Gospel and widens the scope to a Gospel that is good for everyone. And <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Fatal-Grace-Chief-Inspector-Gamache/dp/0312541163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487179571&sr=8-1&keywords=fatal+grace" target="_blank">A Fatal Grace</a> is the second in the Inspector Gamache series which I’m slowly making my way through. I placed an accurate bet on the murderer early on, but Penny still managed to surprise me by the end.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So that’s January in books. I’m loving what I’ve read in February so far, so I’ll have some good stuff to share next month. What’s the best thing you read last month??</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-75358320606383096092017-02-13T21:01:00.000-06:002017-02-13T21:01:35.911-06:00Election and Redemption<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I watched election night unfold that November 8, stress eating gummy bears and slowly sinking into despair as swing state after swing state went red. I watched with one eye on the t.v. and one eye on twitter where the many people of color that I follow lamented the results. I lamented with them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know not all were lamenting. I know that for many this was a victory, a win for the Republican party. For me this was not about Republican and Democrats. While I’ve voted for Democratic Presidential candidates, I’ve voted for both Republicans and Democrats in other positions. My dad was an elected Republican official in our town. Until this election I would have said I was an Independent who leaned left, or, a fiscally conservative, socially liberal Independent. This election felt different. Donald Trump felt different.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I won’t go into all the ways he made my stomach turn during the election. The examples are well documented. I will say that as a person who has cared an awful lot about social justice through out my adult life, Trump’s rhetoric and complete lack of self-awareness has felt dangerous and just down right wrong.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the weeks immediately following the election I wandered around in a state of anxiety and fear. The news reports of hate crimes committed in Trump’s name and Neo Nazi groups celebrations of his victory did nothing to assuage this. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then, through it all, there were Christian leaders joyously celebrating his victory, saying it was ordained by God.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This, of course, caused me to simultaneously throw things and deeply question my understanding of God. The God I have known, the one that has made my heart worship, was on the side of justice for the oppressed, was against bigotry and prejudice, promoted goodness and kindness and humility. That God was not found in Trump. At least to me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When swastikas were showing up across the country bearing the words “Trump’s America” alongside them, it felt hard to believe that God would ordain this. When people of color were shoved and intimidated and told it was time to “go home! This is Trump’s America now!” it was hard to believe that God would ordain that. And when hundreds were detained at the airport, and refugees, the most vulnerable among us, were turned away, it was hard to believe that the God who very specifically says to welcome the refugee stranger would ordain that. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then something else started to happen. There was <a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2017/02/march.html" target="_blank">a march</a></span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, attended by millions all across the world. People stepped up, who wanted to say, no, this is not ok and I’m standing on the side of justice. There were reports of people stepping in, standing up when people of color were being targeted for hate crimes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Signs started popping up all around my neighborhood. Signs that said, “We are not afraid” in regard to refugees and signs in three different languages, Hispanic, Arabic and English that said, “No matter what language you speak, we’re glad to call you neighbor.” Signs that gave me hope.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In our suburban town a refugee relief organization held an introductory meeting to people who wanted to get involved by helping refugee families transition to America. I heard one report that over a thousand people showed up for the meeting.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then there was this report. On a subway in Manhattan someone had graffitied Swastikas and other hateful messages on every advertisement and window. People on the subway were uncomfortably aware of this and unsure of how to act. Someone knew that alcohol erased permanent marker and soon an entire subway car full of New Yorkers were taking out their hand sanitizer and tissues and erasing the crap out of those hateful messages. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Trump, it seems, has made activists of us all. More and more people are asking themselves tough questions, paying attention to injustice and bigotry and standing up for the vulnerable, oppressed and marginalized. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it’s working. I saw this on twitter and I hope very much that it is true.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the weekend, as I reflected on all the ways good people are standing up for truth and justice I wondered if maybe God was behind Trump’s win after all. Not because Trump and his ideals embody what God wants for our broken world but because Trump and his ideals gave the rest of us something to fight against for our broken world. It moved us to action in a way that his win would not have. On the day of his inauguration in a text conversation with some friends I said, “If he hadn’t won we wouldn’t be marching tomorrow, but the things, the beliefs, the injustice that gave him so much popularity and put people in the position to overlook it all for a political party would still be there tomorrow. Now we know where we stand and which side we want to stand on. It was hard to fight the things we collectively, as a society, tried to pretend weren’t there at all. You can’t fight the things you’re keeping hidden. Now it’s out there and in some weird way I’m actually thankful for that.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And maybe that was what was ordained by God. The stripping of the false security we all gave ourselves that we were a post racial society. Or the sense that there wasn’t any work left to be done. The calling of arms of people who may never considered themselves activists. People all over the world are saying, not on my watch.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don’t know if God ordained Trump’s victory. I don’t know that I can go that far, or speak in that way by God. But I do know that it is just like God to take brokenness and pain and use it for redemption. I do know that what broke in our society on November 8, 2016, is being redeemed in a hundred thousand ways since then. And I, for one, am excited to take part with God in this redeeming work.</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-12153206157528328242017-02-06T14:36:00.000-06:002017-02-06T14:36:16.037-06:00March<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On a Saturday in January I, along with 250,000 new friends, took to the streets of Chicago to march. We joined 600 other marches here in the U.S. </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">and around the world. The response was overwhelming. In Chicago and a few other places, there were so many more people in attendance than anticipated that the actual march portion of the morning had to be cancelled; there were too many people to safely take to the streets.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was an unbelievably beautiful day for a January in Chicago. The sun shone for the first time in what felt like an eternity and there was a warmth in the air we hadn’t felt in a while. As we waited in our suburban train station I was surprised at just how many people were also waiting. I’d sort of assumed there would just be a few of us, mostly young women or hipster guys. Instead there was a pretty large group of people already gathered, carrying signs, wearing pink, sharing stories about why they were standing there on a Saturday morning, ready to March. And it wasn’t just young people. I was surprised to see how many people my mom’s age were there too.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After our stop the train was deemed full and went express, another train coming behind us to pick up the rest. As we blew through stop after stop I saw so many people patiently waiting, signs in hand, pink hats on. This was going to be bigger than I thought.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My friend Charity and I met up with our friends in the city, watching as train after train arrived and people flooded into the station. There was an energy and excitement in the air as the sheer number of people buoyed energy to one another. We started making our way with the masses towards the place where the march was to gather.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On of our friends had brought her parents. Her sweet father was so excited to be marching. He kept saying, “We are all activists now.” Indeed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The signs ranged from hilarious (one of my favorites: “I can’t believe I still have to protest this shit”) to poignant (“‘My humanity is bound up in yours, for only together can we be truly human’ Hope Wanted”) and it each one reminded me why it mattered that I was there.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For me, and I think many others, this wasn’t sour grapes about an election that went to the other guy. And I certainly wasn’t protesting the GOP or republicans (my beloved father was an elected republican and many people I love most dearly claim that party’s allegiance. I cannot or will not hate republicans). But after a year and a half of watching the very worst in humanity play out I needed to be with others who felt angry and inspired to action. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I’m being honest my heart has always been drawn towards the fight for justice; my very favorite books growing up were the ones that centered on this theme. Maybe it started in third grade with my teacher Mrs. Gibson, who captivated me with her stories of marching with Martin Luther King, Jr. Or maybe that was just how I was created: to care deeply for the marginalized and oppressed. Years ago, in college, I took women’s studies and African American studies courses where my eyes were opened wide to the depth racism, sexism, prejudice, oppression and injustice that still existed in the world. I have been drawn to understanding and fighting this ever since.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There was something I learned during those African American courses in college that I was reminded of again and again during the course of 2016. When you start to pay attention to racism, sexism, prejudice, and oppression, you start to see it everywhere, sometimes in the most unlikely places. It’s scary and ugly and quite frankly can make a person a little overwhelmed and despondent. As a person who comes from a place of privilege (and we need to be honest here when we say that all white people in the United States hold some level of privilege that is not afforded to everyone) there will come a point during this period of discovery that you will want to stop looking. It will be so hard, you will feel so terrible and guilty and bad about yourself as a person whose race had and continues to perpetuate so much injustice, that you will just want to stick your head in the sand and return to what is comfortable. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is at this point, as a person of privilege that you will be afforded a choice. You can ignore what you’ve seen and quite easily return to life as status quo or you can stand up and choose a side on which to fight. (It is here where I would argue that by choosing to ignore and return to a comfortable life pretending the injustice doesn’t exist you are actually choosing a side on which to fight; your passivity contributes to and supports injustice, but that is another conversation for another day.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so on that Saturday in January I marched because I wanted to physically stand against oppression and prejudice. Because I wanted to speak truth to power. And also because I’ve come to believe, deep in my bones the truth of that protest sign: “my humanity is tied up in yours, for only together can we truly be human.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I also marched for hope and love and redemption because I’ve found that when you go looking for those things, you can find them everywhere too, often in the most unlikely places.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now of course, the work has just begun. I </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">marched on that Saturday morning but I continue to march each day. I’m paying attention. I’m calling people in power. I’m looking for ways to lend my resources and time to fight injustice. The march was the call to action. Now it’s time to move. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px;"> </span></div>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-59907611119934497092017-01-09T06:53:00.000-06:002017-01-09T06:53:44.134-06:00How I Read More in 2016<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I mentioned in my <a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2017/01/i-read-forty-five-books-this-year-which.html" target="_blank">favorite books of 2016 post</a>, I read more this year than I probably have in any other given year of my adult life. There were a few lessons I learned this year that contributed to this bump in reading. I thought they might be worth sharing…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Keep a list of books to read…</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This year, in the back of my planner I used one of those precious few pages for notes to keep a list of books that I want to read. Anytime I heard someone mention a book that sounded interesting, or I stumbled across a “best books” list I’d add to the list. And when I finished something from the list I crossed it off. Previously I’d had random notes on my phone or in my email with books that I might want to read, but I’ve never had them in one concise place. My planner goes with my pretty much everywhere so whenever I was at a bookstore or the library I always knew what I might be looking for.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Keep a list of books that I did read…</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Next to my list of books <i>to </i>read I also kept track of what I’d finished. There was something so satisfying about seeing that list grow and I think it kept me reading. In 2017 I want to include the dates of when I finished the book because I think that would be interesting to track.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Utilize the library and its book reserve system…</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I started using the library more this year. I think because I had that ever growing list of books to read at my fingertips, each trip to the library for kids books also included a trip upstairs to get some books for me. And for the first time ever I found myself putting books on hold that were currently unavailable (rather than just trying again another time). This meant I was constantly getting emails about books that were waiting for me. And in a lot of ways it motivated me to read them more quickly, partly because a book with holds on it can’t be renewed, and partly because I knew that there were other people waiting and I felt bad taking my sweet time. As a result I would fly through books. There were times I had to let go of books I was dying to read because all the books I’d put on hold came up at once, but they’re still on my “To Read” list so I’ll get back to them eventually.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Audiobooks for the win…</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve always been a fan of audiobooks but have fallen out of it in recent years because they’re expensive to buy and a pain to try and take out from the library. This year only 7 or 8 of my read titles were audiobooks, but interestingly, I found that audiobooks are really great for titles that I may have a hard time getting into, but ultimately really enjoyed reading. If I could listen while I washed dishes or worked out, I was less likely to put the book down and before I knew it I was into it. This was how I managed to read the 800 pages of “A Little Life” and how I discovered that I loved the Robert Galbraith series.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And finally, reading begets reading…</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That old adage we throw around when our kids are babies, sleep begets sleep, also applies to reading, I’ve found. When I’m in the practice of reading books I read more. I realized this about a month ago when I wasn’t reading. I’d run out of books coming through from my hold list, there wasn’t anything screaming to be read on my “To Read” list and I realized it had been a week or two since I’d picked up a book. I was in a reading rut. On a library run for my kids I took a tour of the new fiction section and grabbed three books that I’d heard nothing about but based on my knowledge of the authors, or, frankly, the covers, I figured I might like. These were easy books, the reality t.v. of literature, but they were quick reads and entertaining stories and within a week or so they had helped break my rut and I was moving on to other literary endeavors. The more you read, the more you read.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So those are my tips. Or at least what helped me be a better reader in 2016. I’ve got my lists going for 2017 and a goal to read 50 books this year. I’m also going to try and finally figure out my library’s digital selection and try to check out books directly to my kindle or phone. I don’t always love reading on the kindle, but for certain books it works, and if I can figure out the library audiobook app that could be pretty awesome.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy Reading in 2017!</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-35991067563166154782017-01-06T07:09:00.001-06:002017-01-06T07:10:12.893-06:00My Best Books of 2016<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I read forty-five books this year, which is probably the most I’ve read in a given year since I was ten and tearing through a Baby-Sitters Club book every other day. I thought I’d share my favorites from the list.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Best Books I read in 2016:</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnK-VJtnOzCzpzTq6N33uii0RlGw1rBliCg6_09Lu25EDEeMUKNzWcaYP53rRkexs3ysYJlHJ7ziuUEkJd8xJP6W5D4dwba88mDXn6qchX3hKgPryfqrSEhbSsNeCJXvHPY0OS4LyCTQ/s1600/colors.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnK-VJtnOzCzpzTq6N33uii0RlGw1rBliCg6_09Lu25EDEeMUKNzWcaYP53rRkexs3ysYJlHJ7ziuUEkJd8xJP6W5D4dwba88mDXn6qchX3hKgPryfqrSEhbSsNeCJXvHPY0OS4LyCTQ/s200/colors.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Colors-Goodbye-Holding-Letting-Reclaiming/dp/1496408179/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483706745&sr=8-1&keywords=Colors+of+goodbye" target="_blank">The Colors of Goodbye</a> by September Vaudrey</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I read this book on my i-phone in about 36 hours. I am not exaggerating when I said I couldn’t put it down. Vaudrey shares her family’s story of the unexpected death of her nineteen year old daughter Katie and the traumatic aftermath. It is beautiful, hopeful, honest, raw, vulnerable and everything else you would hope a book about grief would be. It is the book I now give to people in the midst of painful grief and it is one I will probably return to again. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinWmfY23rET16K-Ds0U4nJoc0NFcWsbCK3Ja-qChzB928x3Dd42qb43CrerGd_BnO0d7weoIiY1D2NNsb_BTvCFLHhkLAqtfYyuOEdnUolWj1S5N0W4SKzUWCUmU8jQ8Pe6YQyoAcBKQ/s1600/columbine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinWmfY23rET16K-Ds0U4nJoc0NFcWsbCK3Ja-qChzB928x3Dd42qb43CrerGd_BnO0d7weoIiY1D2NNsb_BTvCFLHhkLAqtfYyuOEdnUolWj1S5N0W4SKzUWCUmU8jQ8Pe6YQyoAcBKQ/s200/columbine.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Columbine-Dave-Cullen/dp/0446546925/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483706821&sr=8-1&keywords=columbine+by+dave+cullen" target="_blank">Columbine</a> by Dave Cullen</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There was so much I didn’t realize that I didn’t know about the Columbine shootings and Cullen’s detailed and researched account sheds so much light on what happened and how it was reported at the time. It is incredible well written and eye-opening and I learned so much, particularly about the media and the ways stories can take on a life of their own, regardless of the truth. It also gave me a tremendous amount of compassion for the families of the shooters.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Year-Yes-Dance-Stand-Person/dp/1476777128/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483706861&sr=8-1&keywords=Year+of+Yes" target="_blank">Year of Yes</a> by Shonda Rhimes</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I wasn’t prepared to be so struck by this book, but man did it land with me. This is one that may become an annual read for me; the encouragement and motivation it gave me was so great. It’s about the year Rhimes decides to say yes to everything that scares her. The writing is delightful and entertaining, but the story is riveting. I was a big fan.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-Life-Hanya-Yanagihara/dp/0804172706/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483706906&sr=1-1&keywords=a+little+life" target="_blank">A Little Life </a>by Tanya Yanagihara</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Content wise this was the most difficult book I’ve ever read. This book reveals the very ugliest of humanity. But I haven’t been that invested in a group of characters in a long time. I found myself thinking about them when I wasn’t reading, wondering if they were ok. It is a book that is made for discussion, so I was thankful to find a book group meeting about it at my local book store. It is a book I recommend with hesitation, not because it’s a bad book, but because its content is not for everyone. But man, is it a beautifully written story.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Just-Mercy-Story-Justice-Redemption/dp/081298496X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483706956&sr=1-1&keywords=just+mercy+by+bryan+stevenson" target="_blank">Just Mercy</a> by Bryan Stevenson</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This should be required reading for the 21st century. Stevenson writes about his work for the Equal Justice Initiative which is concerned about inequality and injustice in the criminal justice system particularly against the poor and minorities. The book goes back and forth between a particularly moving case Stevenson worked on in his career and other cases/issues he continues to work on today. It is an eye-opening and powerful read and I just found out it’s going to be a movie (starring my favorite, Michael B Jordan!). More of us need to be talking about what’s really going on in our prison systems and how we can change it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Matter-Novel-Blake-Crouch/dp/1101904224/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483706999&sr=1-1&keywords=dark+matter" target="_blank">Dark Matter</a> by Blake Crouch</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is not my typical read, science fiction/thriller, but it had been recommended by more than one person as just that, a science fiction/thriller for people who don’t usually read them. It was kind of mind trippy and I couldn’t think to much about the science behind some of it or I’d get way too confused, but it was an incredibly interesting story that left me thinking about the choices we make and the lives that those choices lead to. It was really good.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Potter-Cursed-Special-Rehearsal-Script/dp/1338099132/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707027&sr=1-1&keywords=harry+potter+and+the+cursed+child" target="_blank">Harry Potter and the Cursed Child</a> by Jack Thorne and JK Rowling</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is a play that went up in West London sometime in the last year, I think. It’s set where the very end of the last Harry Potter book leaves off, with Harry and his crew grown adults who have children attending Hogwarts. It was a little weird reading a play and I couldn’t wrap my brain around how they did this live with the magic and what not, but all in all it felt like a few hours with some old friends and that was lovely.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Honorable Mentions:</b> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Warrior-Oprahs-Book-Club/dp/1250128544/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707075&sr=1-1&keywords=love+warrior" target="_blank">Love Warrior</a> by Glennon Doyle Melton, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Very-Married-Field-Notes-Fidelity/dp/1513800175/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707108&sr=1-1&keywords=Very+Married" target="_blank">Very Married</a> by Katherine Willis Pershey, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Light-World-Memoir-Elizabeth-Alexander/dp/1455599875/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1483707146&sr=1-1" target="_blank">The Light of the World </a>by Elizabeth Alexander, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Emma-Cline/dp/081299860X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707200&sr=1-1&keywords=The+girls" target="_blank">The Girls</a> by Emma Cline and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Eligible-modern-retelling-Pride-Prejudice/dp/1400068320/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707227&sr=1-1&keywords=Eligible" target="_blank">Eligible</a> by Curtis Sittenfeld</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Three authors I got into this year.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I discovered a few new authors this year and went deep into the rabbit hole of their books and/or series, all of which were so good, it felt redundant to add them to my best of list. I found Rainbow Rowell and read five of her books this year (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Fangirl-Novel-Rainbow-Rowell/dp/1250030951/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707271&sr=1-1&keywords=fangirl" target="_blank">Fan Girl</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Carry-Novel-Rainbow-Rowell/dp/1250049555/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707293&sr=1-1&keywords=Carry+On" target="_blank">Carry On</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Eleanor-Park-Rainbow-Rowell/dp/1250012570/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707316&sr=1-1&keywords=eleanor+and+park" target="_blank">Eleanor and Park</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Attachments-Novel-Rainbow-Rowell/dp/0452297540/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707351&sr=1-1&keywords=attachments+rainbow+rowell" target="_blank">Attachments</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Landline-Novel-Rainbow-Rowell/dp/1250049547/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707635&sr=1-1&keywords=landline" target="_blank">Landline</a>). I started and finished the Robert Galbraith (which is actually just J.K. Rowling writing under a pen name) Cormoran Strike series which was excellent. (Those three books are <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cuckoos-Calling-Cormoran-Strike-Book-ebook/dp/B00AA20E5Y/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">A Cuckoo’s Calling</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Silkworm-Cormoran-Strike-Book-ebook/dp/B00IJJUIOM/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">The Silkworm </a>and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Career-Evil-Cormoran-Strike-Book-ebook/dp/B0106E2CO6/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">Career of Evil</a>) And while I discovered Liane Moriarty last year, my deep dive of her stuff continued into 2016. I’ve read everything she’s written and thoroughly enjoyed all of it, but my favorites would probably include <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hypnotists-Love-Story-Novel-ebook/dp/B0074VTH2U/ref=la_B00459IA54_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707764&sr=1-6" target="_blank">The Hypnotist’s Love Story</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Big-Little-Lies-Liane-Moriarty-ebook/dp/B00HDMMISA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">Big Little Lies</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/What-Alice-Forgot-Liane-Moriarty-ebook/dp/B004XFYN9M/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">What Alice Forgot</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I read a lot of really great stuff this year and so while this list may just be my very favorite, there were a bunch of others that I would enthusiastically recommend as well. In fact, of my list of 45 books there were maybe only two or three that I didn’t like. I just finished my first book of 2017, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hatching-Twitter-Story-Friendship-Betrayal/dp/1591847087/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483707884&sr=1-1&keywords=hatching+twitter" target="_blank">Hatching Twitter</a> by Nick Bolton, a super fascinating look at the birth and growth of Twitter.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What are you reading??</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-1684257857856075472017-01-03T07:07:00.001-06:002017-01-03T07:07:59.833-06:00Happy New Year<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A terribly cute/terrible toddler with some current sleep issues kept Tommy and I from ringing in the New Year together this year. He took the big three kids to the Farm while I stayed home with the youngest. My NYE consisted of sushi with my mom, and binge watching New Girl alone in bed, all of which had me asleep well before midnight. NYE looks a little different these days and that is fine by me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As a result, however, nothing about the last few days felt like any sort of “holiday” and I kind of forgot that there was any real significance to the day, other than the fact that I got to bust out my brand new Paper Source Art Grid calendar. Instagram reminded me quickly though and I watched as many people posted their joy that the dumpster fire of a year that was 2016 was finally put to bed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2016 was a crazy making year and unfortunately much of what made me crazy will be coming with us into the new year. For me, when I look at our country and our world, the things that produced anxiety and hopelessness in me this past year are still very much in play. And I don’t really know what to do with that as I look ahead to 2017. The scary things feel too much outside of my control and out of my ability to produce any kind of change.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I really haven’t written much since the election. I haven’t known how to start or finish anything. When I write I’m looking for grace and hope and redemption and, well, that’s been harder for me to find.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But it’s a new year and I want to get back to old practices. I want to look at life a bit more like a camera lens this year. My resolve in 2017 is to zoom that lens in and out this year. I want to remember to zoom out, to look at the big picture and to care about what’s going on in the whole world. For me this will look like paying attention, getting involved in whatever is resisting bigotry and hatred and injustice, and using whatever cards I have to speak up when necessary. I’m going to read and listen and learn. I’m going to be extra aware of what’s going on when I zoom that lens out and see the big picture.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But, that big picture can be overwhelming at times and I can seem powerless. There is a lot I can’t fix or do. And so I’m going to remember to zoom that lens in real close too and pay attention to my people, my kids and my husband, my family and the friends that have become family. I’m going to focus the lens on them and their needs and how I can be of service. I will make my world very small and settle into it, because this is where I can do the most good, this is where my actions produce the strongest ripples.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There will be a time for zooming the lens out and pulling it back in close and I need to do both. My job this year is to pay attention and respond accordingly. I can’t forget that there is a greater world out there that is hurting, that there are real injustices and abuses of power that need attention and resistance. And I must remember that first and foremost I am called to the people in my home and in my community. That making dinner, or reading stories or listening with full, undivided attention to my four-year-old as she rambles on about a weird dream she had last night about a unicorn, wonder woman and her best friend is often my most important ministry for the moment.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So this year I’m attempting to zoom in and out with my lens, to remember both views and forget neither. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy 2017, friends. </span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-49121174002525086242016-10-20T07:16:00.000-05:002016-10-20T07:18:18.951-05:00A Few Good Books: October<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hellooooooo! I’m linking up with <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/quick-lit-october-2016/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy</a> again to share a few good books I’ve read in the last month or so. This month is actually pretty stacked! I’ve read eight books and six of them were share-worthy (and the other two probably would have been if it had been a different month)! Yea for good books!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Emma-Cline/dp/081299860X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476964974&sr=8-1&keywords=the+girls" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">The Girls</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> by Emma Cline</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This was the book everyone was talking about this summer. It’s a fictional story about a young girl in the sixties and her experience with a Charles Manson like cult. I’d been warned by more than one person that the content matter was a little R rated. I think maybe I’d been over-warned so that it was worse in my imagination. I didn’t think it was that bad, but others might, so be aware. Otherwise I thought it was a really intriguing story (which made me more interested in the real case that inspired it) and an overall good read.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Eligible-modern-retelling-Pride-Prejudice/dp/1400068320/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965112&sr=8-1&keywords=eligible" target="_blank">Eligible</a> by Curtis Sittinfeld</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpg9jBTBmI2R23gHcGuwx9JhUGLJdoNrr0q83fnpt9wdYFpED0SafI3ju6cDIBxV_i4mx6988AmaRuBC0H2mBSGeKNiFm-yR1uQeXASbke7puovJlrUQOCx_7lkhOu1Nr7RZfMTtHlmQ/s1600/41dZFrQZJoL._AC_US160_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpg9jBTBmI2R23gHcGuwx9JhUGLJdoNrr0q83fnpt9wdYFpED0SafI3ju6cDIBxV_i4mx6988AmaRuBC0H2mBSGeKNiFm-yR1uQeXASbke7puovJlrUQOCx_7lkhOu1Nr7RZfMTtHlmQ/s1600/41dZFrQZJoL._AC_US160_.jpg" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This modern day retelling of Pride and Prejudice came out this summer with a bit of fanfare. I’ll admit that I’m not actually a huge Jane Austen fan (I know, I know, terrible). But I LOVED this retelling. It takes place in Cincinnati, involved a “Bachelor-esque” reality show and the Lizzy and Darcy of this story are just as endearing and delightful as Austen’s. I loved this so much I sent it to a friend for her birthday.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Warrior-Oprahs-Book-Club/dp/1250128544/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965162&sr=8-1&keywords=love+warrior" target="_blank">Love Warrior</a> by Glennon Doyle Melton</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLl9L7sE-2KFhUm-Ks0VsdcvxbcUeVjUFIZhm2lm7OED0Yqd8hCdQut6ykrjsZKX7lQYf5Tu7MKKN9jVuMwtwH8PRM78wL0_3HpxhkJ1xLBZ778x5guHPjH96us8Xr0mH7VwJ_Ru4csg/s1600/51040pPErCL._AC_US160_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLl9L7sE-2KFhUm-Ks0VsdcvxbcUeVjUFIZhm2lm7OED0Yqd8hCdQut6ykrjsZKX7lQYf5Tu7MKKN9jVuMwtwH8PRM78wL0_3HpxhkJ1xLBZ778x5guHPjH96us8Xr0mH7VwJ_Ru4csg/s1600/51040pPErCL._AC_US160_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLl9L7sE-2KFhUm-Ks0VsdcvxbcUeVjUFIZhm2lm7OED0Yqd8hCdQut6ykrjsZKX7lQYf5Tu7MKKN9jVuMwtwH8PRM78wL0_3HpxhkJ1xLBZ778x5guHPjH96us8Xr0mH7VwJ_Ru4csg/s1600/51040pPErCL._AC_US160_.jpg" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had been looking forward to this book for years, from when I first heard Glennon was writing a memoir about her marriage- the falling apart of it and the putting back together. Melton is a writer I follow on social media and through her blog so I was interested in the full story behind the bits she’d shared in the past few years. Plus, she’s one of my favorite teachers and so her wisdom on the topic of marriage seemed like a home run. I was nervous when I found out, shortly before the book’s release, that her marriage had ended and she and Craig were separating. I wondered if it would make whatever she shared in the book seem false, or not quite truthful. Once I read the book though, the outcome of her marriage, a year or so after she finished writing, wasn’t actually relevant. Melton goes there in this book- she’s more honest than she’s ever been- and this is a book about marriage and intimacy, porn, addiction and what happens when two really unhealthy people get married and then really deal with their unhealthiness. I’m still thinking about this one and will be for quite a while. It’s a book about marriage, but it’s really a book about what happens when you really and truly face your deepest junk and save yourself from it. (Also, this is an Oprah book club pick, so it will be everywhere)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Just-Mercy-Story-Justice-Redemption/dp/081298496X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965237&sr=8-1&keywords=Just+Mercy" target="_blank">Just Mercy</a> by Bryan Stevenson</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLqr9Q7NRGwKsRzZfR8b8niOYFfLusR9MwBPJ8V9ATSrL_lcM3KdneYbqRH_tFCkIT8W-A7_Vv3EqU7KeAplTgSF5M6lrRB5yLUUjvwoObIiGR68TQyBKx0VgAm725e3ubwX1Y1bPTuA/s1600/518Q%252BHqVqkL._AC_US160_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLqr9Q7NRGwKsRzZfR8b8niOYFfLusR9MwBPJ8V9ATSrL_lcM3KdneYbqRH_tFCkIT8W-A7_Vv3EqU7KeAplTgSF5M6lrRB5yLUUjvwoObIiGR68TQyBKx0VgAm725e3ubwX1Y1bPTuA/s1600/518Q%252BHqVqkL._AC_US160_.jpg" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This needs to be required reading friends. Stevenson is the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative and works with people on death row. This book is about a case Bryan worked with early on in his career, a man who had been wrongfully convicted of murder and subsequently placed on death row. The injustice in this case caused my blood to boil and more than once I wondered how Bryan managed to keep his cool and continue to fight against what seemed like bold and outright injustice. In between chapters on this case Bryan shares different aspects of injustice in our prison systems. The section on mandatory life sentences for minors will have you outraged. I can’t recommend it enough. The writing is beautiful, Stevenson is so descriptive I kept thinking, this needs to be a screen play, someone has to turn this into a movie. (Someone is and Michael B. Jordan is playing Stevenson. Score.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Very-Married-Field-Notes-Fidelity/dp/1513800175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965282&sr=8-1&keywords=Very+Married" target="_blank">Very Married</a> by Katherine Willis Pershey</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIMXx-9KT_AxnBGOS9BIzXp6fgtOgjJ4L5RBVgy3TXSeIu9KCEyyjppv75dw82wRPJ3UzBNRcWUNzMV9Fb3NTTOly3q_Lmxkg9CWIT5yKpFCQ1fA24ImiQPuUIrBjIBmqwxj7sbPk7w/s1600/41n9SLIEpRL._AC_US160_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIMXx-9KT_AxnBGOS9BIzXp6fgtOgjJ4L5RBVgy3TXSeIu9KCEyyjppv75dw82wRPJ3UzBNRcWUNzMV9Fb3NTTOly3q_Lmxkg9CWIT5yKpFCQ1fA24ImiQPuUIrBjIBmqwxj7sbPk7w/s1600/41n9SLIEpRL._AC_US160_.jpg" /></a><span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I wasn’t trying to read a lot of books on marriage, it just sort of happened. I’d heard some buzz about this book for a while now. Pershey was on my radar as she’s a pastor of a church in the same town I once worked (in a church). If Melton’s book is about the individual work that happens within a marriage, Pershey’s is much more a celebration about the work of togetherness that happens there. I loved this memoir, deeply appreciated Pershey’s honestly and her voice. I want very much to read more from her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Honorable mentions this month: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Forgetting-Time-Novel-Sharon-Guskin/dp/1250076420/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965386&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Forgetting+Time" target="_blank">The Forgetting Time</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Landline-Novel-Rainbow-Rowell/dp/1250049547/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965436&sr=8-1&keywords=Landline" target="_blank">Landline,</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Silkworm-Cormoran-Strike-Novel/dp/031620689X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965472&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Silkworm" target="_blank">The Silkworm</a>. All were great, but this post has gotten too long for recaps of everything :). I'm in the middle of the third book in the Cormoran Strike series, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Career-Evil-Cormoran-Strike-Novels/dp/0316349933/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965472&sr=8-2&keywords=The+Silkworm" target="_blank">Career of Evil </a>and I've got <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hatching-Twitter-Story-Friendship-Betrayal/dp/1591847087/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476965564&sr=8-1&keywords=Hatching+twitter" target="_blank">Hatching Twitter</a> on d</span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">eck. What are you reading??</span></div>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-25463310941177800532016-10-07T06:49:00.000-05:002016-10-07T06:49:28.568-05:00Lessons in Autumn<i>I wrote this essay two years ago now, the first fall after my dad's death. For a variety of reasons I never published it. Each year, as the season start to to change I think back on this essay and the little scraps of hope that came with it. Today I noticed for the first time that the leaves on the parkway of our street were starting to turn yellow and red and I thought now might be the right time to share a lesson I learned a few years ago. </i><br />
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m not a fall person. I’m a summer girl. I love everything about it. The flip flops, the sundresses, the warmth, the sun, the general happiness in the air. If I could live in summer year round I would do in a heart beat. I don’t really get people who need seasons. I’d be perfectly happy in San Diego. Except that all my people are in the Midwest.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And in the Midwest we have fall. And people here love fall for some reason. I don’t get it, but without fail the Tuesday after Labor day brings out The Autumns. The Autumns love fall, love Pumpkin Spice Lattes and boots, and most of all love reveling in the end of summer because it means fall is coming. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I don’t get it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Once at a dinner party one of The Autumns started on about his excitement for fall and I kind of lost it. “How can you like fall???? Fall is death. Everyone goes on and on about how beautiful fall is but all those leaves are changing colors because they are dying! Fall is just one slow death!” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Later, he confessed to me that all fall he couldn’t look at the beautiful trees without thinking about death.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I felt kind of bad about that one. I mean, I pretty much ruined an entire season for him. It was not my finest moment.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This year, on this side of death, I anticipated feeling extra scroogey towards fall. I’ve lived in the thick of winter for close to a year now and I didn’t need all those leaves changing color and reminding me of dying. I have enough reminders.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But something funny happened this year. I don’t know if it was because we had a particularly beautiful fall, or if it was precisely because I am on this side of death, having experienced it so intimately this year, but I found myself marveling at the beauty of fall these past few months. </span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I couldn’t help myself.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I’d be out walking with the kids and a tree would literally take my breath away.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Drives around town were fraught with</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">beautiful colors and trees in full bloom. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I felt guilty at first. I tried to shove down this acknowledgement of fall’s beauty. But it kept coming. I couldn’t stop marveling. There was something about those beautiful trees. It was like death wasn’t going down without a fight. Yes, the leaves were dying and falling away, but they were going to die beautifully, damnit. They weren’t going quietly. They weren’t about to leave without bringing a final bit of beauty into the world.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Which of course made me think of my dad’s death. When I looked, I saw the beauty in it. His death was traumatic and shocking and so very painful. But there was beauty, damnit. There was beauty in the community of people who showed up and loved us immediately after his death and continued to care for us throughout this year. There was beauty in the way it knit us closer. And there was so much beauty in the tributes made to my dad. For weeks after his death people told his stories, the stories of his beautiful life, the things that they loved about him and the ways that he had lived a good story. It was death that wasn’t going down without a fight. The beauty of his life wasn’t going away untold. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it’s in our love for him. Our love for him and the ways we carry him with us and try to keep him alive bears witness to this notion of death not going down without a fight. We speak his name and tell his stories so that in his death, his life still blooms boldly. His legacy and his love is so deeply embedded in our hearts that he will not die quietly. There is beauty and color in remembering him and what was so wonderful about his life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so maybe I’m changing my mind about fall. Maybe I’m finding some beauty in the dying. Or rather I respect the beauty in the dying. We all die right? But our legacies, our life’s work. That’s not going down without a fight, without a final bloom of beautiful.</span></span></div>
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barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-86754395179275134262016-09-28T06:42:00.000-05:002016-09-28T06:42:04.625-05:00The Great Closet Clean Out<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal;">
<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few weeks ago after the kids were all in bed my friend <a href="http://barefootwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2013/02/for-charity.html" target="_blank">Charity</a> came over to help me with a project. My wardrobe needed a complete, top to bottom rehab. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Since I got pregnant with Lou in August of 2013 my body has gone through the ringer. It’s been three years straight of growing with pregnancy, shrinking much more slowly than I’d like, growing again and shrinking again (even more slowly, of course). All while breastfeeding, the needs of which do not lend themselves to all clothes equally. For the last three years I’ve worn whatever was comfortable, whatever fit in my in-between sizing states, and whatever allowed me to whip a boob out at a moment’s notice. This mostly looked like wearing yoga leggings and oversized tops.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m pretty much done with breastfeeding and I’ve come to terms with the fact that as much “baby weight” that’s going to come off post Rory has departed; this is my body now. As I mentioned before, my closet was a weird combination of clothes I wish would fit me, clothes I bought right after I had babies that were weird fitting, and clothes that I never wear because I don’t know how or what to wear them with. I’m tired of feeling frumpy at school pick up, tired of wearing stained, hole-y clothes because nothing else fits and this is the only white tee shirt I have left. So it was time to go through each article of clothing and make a decision: keep or toss. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Prior to Charity’s arrival I’d spent a few days pre-purging. I got rid of everything that I was stained or had holes and the things that I knew just really didn’t fit/look good. By the time she arrived that evening I was ready to blow up my whole closet and start from scratch, so I was surprised with how much I ended up keeping when it was all said and done. But of course that is the genius of my friend Charity-she has a keen eye for how to wear things and the most encouraging spirit in the world. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here are the things I learned in The Great Closet Clean Out:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Often just adding a different shoe changed a whole outfit from tosser to keeper. </b> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were so many things I assumed would end up in the “donate” pile that wound up in my closet purely because of the shoes Charity told me to try them with. I have a pair of loose, printed summery pants I didn’t wear all summer. Charity paired them with my wedge booties and they will now live to see the fall. The fall! These were unflattering summer pants only in my mind and suddenly with a heel they are chic and awesome printed pants that will be making an appearance all fall. I had a pair of old pumas that I was certain were on their way out that are now going to be worn with a number of different outfits in coming weeks. I don’t think much about shoes when I buy clothes or plan outfits but this experience taught me that shoes can make our break an outfit.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You need good basics. </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We discovered in The Great Closet Clean Out that I was long on funky or “interesting” pieces but very short on basics which was preventing me from wearing all those interesting pieces. This is ironic because I told Charity when she arrived that I’d been living in the suburbs for too long and my wardrobe was boring. Back in my NYC days I’d been a little bolder when it came to wearing clothes. Everyone was a walking canvas in New York when it came to fashion-you would stick out if you didn’t try a few funky pieces from time to time. I missed wearing clothes that were a little unique. I felt like I was wearing the same combination of yoga pants and cotton tops, and everything else in my closet was unwearable or weird. Charity helped me realize I had all the unique pieces, but they needed some basics to make them wearable.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s ok to hang on to clothes for sentimental reasons.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were a few pieces in my closet that carried a story. The green skirt I bought at a flea market the summer I worked in NYC during college and was wearing when Tommy knew he wanted to date me, a white skirt with embroidered flowers I purchased in Ireland during my study abroad year, a pair of pants Tommy had bought me when we were first dating. Some of these things had been ill-fitting over the years, or wavered between fashionable or not, but I held on to them because they carried a beloved story. I was pretty sure my time with Charity was going to be the push I needed to finally say good-bye, but instead she was a champion in encouraging me to put them in the keep pile. She helped me find ways to wear some of them, convincing me that the clothes looked good and not, as some of them were, almost 12 years old. She championed the notion that clothing with history is important. Since then I’ve worn an orange skirt with beautiful embroidered flowers and delicate beadwork twice, each time remembering my favorite little boutique in New York and my early days dating Tommy. And I put aside a few pieces that no longer fit great to hand down to the girls. Maybe someday they’ll love the blue, velvety flair pants that their dad picked out when we were first dating. Or maybe I’ll just love telling the story. Either way I’m thankful she persuaded me to save a few pieces for sentimental reasons and helped me freshen them up.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Be ruthless about what comes and goes</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had to get real strict when it came to getting rid of stuff. My favorite shirt with the hole? Time to say good bye. Those pants I spent too much on, but look terrible on me? Sorry you’re gone. Anything that fits weird? Out. I’m learning that I’m super picky about how clothes feel on my body. If I find myself thinking about my clothes all day, adjusting them or pulling on them because I can feel them on me I’m less likely to wear them again. I got rid of a lot of great clothes that weren’t great for me. And from now on I’m going to be equally ruthless about what I buy. No more shopping online at stores that are difficult to make returns. No more clothes that I only sorta like but bought because they were cheap. I want to build my wardrobe with good quality necessities from now on. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s not just about getting dressed to get dressed.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thanks to the great closet clean out I’m excited about getting dressed again. There’s a creative element to it for me and I really do feel more confident when I walk out the door. I’m learning that it’s not shallow to care about what you wear because it really does do something inside of you. I have a different energy and a different “I got this” attitude. I don’t know why exactly, but I know that by clearing out all the things I owned that didn’t make me feel confident to wear and reworking what was left, getting dressed is easier in the morning and I feel better all day. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And lastly…. At the end of the day, who cares? Just try something bold</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I bought overalls. Yeah I did. I have long loved overalls and when they started coming back around in the last few years I wanted desperately to try them out again. I found a pair for $12 at Von Maur that actually looked cute on me and I knew I had to try it. For $12 I could take that fashion risk. And friends I love them. It makes an average Friday chasing around my kids so much more fun. What’s fashion risk are you secretly dying to try? Just do it. I don’t think you’ll regret it!</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8959448039717269491.post-67200044671400552192016-09-23T09:41:00.000-05:002016-09-23T09:41:15.201-05:00Parenting for the Long Game<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting for the long game lately. I have a few friends with boys who turned 5 this summer. All of them chose to wait until next year to send their boys to kindergarten. I was chatting with one of my friends, marveling about how articulate her son was, how well he was writing his letters. I asked if she thought about sending him straight to first grade if he did really well in pre-K.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Ugh,” she replied. “It’s so hard. I’m not worried about his readiness for school this year. It’s in a few years, when he’s eight and the work gets harder, or middle school when he’s not as developed as the other kids, and high school when he’s seventeen and trying to decide on colleges, or even going to college when he’s still seventeen. In the short term he’d probably be fine, but I’m trying to make this decision with the long game in mind.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was so struck by the wisdom of that. Because the short game- start school now!- is pretty tempting. Who doesn’t want to get their kids in kindergarten? But to think about the effects of this decision twelve years from now? That’s not necessarily something I do every day. I’m not saying all kids with August birthdays should be kept back a year; every kid is different and every parent’s decision is personal. I was more struck by the long term thinking involved in her decision, the fact that she was thinking about the long game.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wonder what other decisions I am making now that have long term consequences I’m not considering? Or what things I need to deal with now so that they aren’t bigger problems later? I’ve long maintained that when it comes to parenting I can pay now, or I can pay later and the cost is usually greater further down the road. The older kids get the more set in their ways and issues in general are easiest when I deal with them early on.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So much of parenting has more to do with the long game than the short. It’s tempting to do what is easiest for the short what makes things better in the moment. And somedays all you can do is think in terms of the short game- the long run can get overwhelming when you just want to survive the moment without murdering anyone.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I’m trying to parent more with the long game in mind. I’m thinking about what values I want to instill in my kids now that will come in handy later. What character traits do I hope they have when they are fifteen? What temperament things are going to be important when they are driving or making crucial life decisions? What decisions do I need to make with my eye on life ten years from now? </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s just something to keep in the back of my mind, an awareness of what’s down the road, how my decisions will play out for my tween and teen-aged kids. I’m paying attention to my friend’s wisdom about the long game and our kids.</span></span></div>
barefoot girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07275644049843342337noreply@blogger.com1