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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Confession


This is my confession…
by my words I believe…that being a good steward of money is an important act of worship
by my actions I believe…that I deserve whatever I desire whenever I desire it and coupons are for chumps.
by my words I believe…that God answers prayer.
by my actions I believe…that God doesn’t have time for my prayers. I need to cover my bases just in case.
by my words I believe…that Jesus is the only way to salvation and belief in Him is all that can save you.
by my actions I believe…that making people feel comfortable and like me here on earth is more important that their salvation for eternity.
by my words I believe…that only God can hold judgment on others and myself.
by my actions (and inmost thoughts) I believe…that every facebook status, passing comment or action is evidence I can use to make swift and sound judgment on you…and myself.
by my words I believe…that God’s grace is for everyone and the gift of grace is that it’s free, unearned and full.
by my actions (and inmost thoughts) I believe…that God’s grace may be for others, but it’s certainly not for me. And I’d rather earn my grace anyway…I don’t like to feel like I own anyone. And even if I did work to earn it, God’s grace couldn’t cover all the grime I’ve managed to stain myself with.
by my words I believe…that taking care of my home and my son are important ways to show my husband I love him.
by my actions I believe…that watching the “real” lives of other people’s wives are important uses of my time.
by my words I believe…that I am part of a team in my marriage and we are both working hard to be selfless and serve one another.
by my actions I believe…that my husband is the one who really should be selfless and serving. I am more deserving of break even though he works a lot harder than I do.
by my words I believe…that my relationship with Jesus is the most important part of my life, that He is the very core of my existence.
by my actions I believe…that blog reading, facebook stalking, Internet surfing and a series of mundane chores are the most important parts of my day.
by my words I believe…that my relationships with others are to be valued and prioritized highly
by my actions I believe…that I just don’t have time for others. I’m too busy reading blogs written by people I’ve never met.
by my words I believe…that I am working hard and doing everything I can to be the best mother, wife, friend, youth pastor and servant of God that I can be. That being selfless with others will ultimately bring joy to my life.
by my actions I believe…that I am the most important person in the world and I should do whatever makes me happy. And being lazy and taking lots of breaks to check my email, check facebook, watch one of the thousand television shows on my dvr, read another blog, and spend hours and hours getting pulled in to the “click this link” time suck that is the internet is what will make me happy. By my actions I believe that doing whatever mind-numbing thing I want to do at any given moment is more important that what anyone else needs of me. By my actions I believe that I’m doing a lot and I deserve a break. By my actions I believe that doing a lot is actually doing very little and making excuses for why I can’t do the very simple basic tasks I’ve been given.