Toots Turns One!

My baby girl turned one yesterday.

Toots' BFF "Baby Carrot"

We had a pirate party for her on Sunday.  It was a pirate party because she is my little pirate.  She is wild and happy, a little punch drunk and funny.  She is not stealth or sneaky like her ninja brother.  She is not pulled together, neat and tidy like her dad.  She is pure joy and happiness bursting in all directions.  I marvel at her tiny body wondering how it possibly contains all that personality.

For her actual birthday yesterday we started the day with cupcakes for breakfast (a family tradition).

She and I had a ladies day in the city.  I've been waiting a long time for a mama/daughter city date.  I couldn't have picked a better partner to pal around the Windy City with.

We visited Daddy at work.

And Aunt Ry for lunch.

As I drove us home, racing to make it back for nap time, I couldn't help but think back to April 2012.  She was due April 15th.  Her brother had arrived 10 days early and caught me totally off guard, scrambling to cover the plans and appointments I'd made when I foolishly assumed I'd be pregnant for another 2 weeks.  Armed with the knowledge that most second babies arrive even earlier than the firsts I locked my calendar down for the month of April.  There was literally nothing planned that I absolutely needed to attend.  I figured I'd have a baby in my arms by Easter, the first weekend in April that year.  Each week came and went, more excruciatingly slow than the last.  Each night I would go to bed thinking this is the night I go into labor.  Each morning I would wake up still pregnant.  It was the longest of months.

Finally, finally at the absolute end of the month my baby girl decided to grace us with her presence.  A presence that has been blessing us every day since.

Contrast April 2012 with this past month and you might think we were trying to make up for lost time.  This past month had us in California and Kentucky.  We moved out of our house and in with my parents, caught "The Book of Mormon", played laser tag with middle schoolers, threw a church fundraiser dinner and a first birthday party.  I don't know if we've ever had a fuller month which is saying a lot.

But it's a month filled with good stuff.  The best stuff.  As I think about our lives in April 2012 compared to the same month a year later I marvel at how simply and perfectly Toots fits into our family.  April last year was the aching missing of one we hadn't yet met.  This year it's a month rich with all of life's best stuff and Toot's presence is seamless.  She fits in with our family as only one who is meant to be with us could.  She's rolled with all the punches of this past year bringing us joy and laughter and love.  Our family is better with her.  She belongs with us.

Can good beget good?

Like many I've watched the news on the Boston Marathon bombings with a heavy heart and an anxious stomach.  As a marathoner this feels closer to home than some other tragedies.  I know what a finish line feels like after 26.2, the emotions, the exhaustion.  The Boston marathon is any ordinary marathon times a thousand- the height of a finish line experience.  And this- this act of evil set off in the middle of it all.  I just can't.

The news people are speculating that this was a domestic act of terrorism.  One of our own.  They cited lots of reasons why they believe this, but one stuck out.  Throughout our American history this week this time between April 15th-ish to 20th-ish has been a week of horrors.  Columbine, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma City all saw tragedies during this period.  The reason for this common occurrence?  Hitler's birthday on April 20th.

Evil begets evil.  One man's reign of terror spawns multiple other acts of terror in his honor.  One act of evil opens the door for another and each time the stakes are raised and the evil compounds.  If I think too hard about it I lose all faith in humanity and only long for heaven.

I sat on my parents living room floor watching the news coverage while my children climbed over my legs simultaneously playing independently and demanding my attention.  Attention that shifted between tragic horror and joyful coos.  It's hard to lose all faith in humanity when your eleven month old is working hard for your affection, showing off and preening perfectly.

And so as I realized that evil begets evil I wondered if that also meant good begets good.  Does one act of good open the door for another, raising the stakes each time?  Can goodness compound?

On a night like this I have a hard time believing.  With images of blood soaked streets and news of an eight year old victim dead believing that good begets good isn't a simple act.  I must choose to believe.  I must choose it with every ounce of will and faith.  Because I can't live in a world where evil begets evil if good doesn't also beget good.  And while evil will always scream louder than good I am also reminded that Satan's voice always seems louder than God's still, quiet whispers.  But God's voice, His soft, freeing voice of love and goodness is always there, just beneath the surface, waiting for me to tune in.  And the good that is begetting good is there too.  Small acts of kindness compounding upon more acts of kindness.  One large act of evil will scream, but the thousands of acts of good will rise together.  And if we tune into them, focusing on that good will beget more good.  I believe it.

If you need proof, read this.

And the winner is...

Abby!!  Congrats Abby I know you will love this book!  Thanks to everyone who entered!  I totally encourage everyone to get this book!

Best wishes from sunny CA!  We are headed to LEGO land which I'm sure will make Monster pee his diaper with excitement!


And happy Easter to all (a day late). Easter reminds me that love wins. Always.