The Best Relationships You Never Asked For

Back in July my brother visited from Denver.  I’m one of four and my other two siblings live around here so anytime Tim is in town we all get to enjoy a reunion of siblings. 

I love my siblings and I love the relationships we have as adults.  Even more than that, I’ve come to love seeing my siblings as aunt and uncles.

It’s funny, that aunt/uncle/niece/nephew relationship.  It’s one of the few relationships in which you have no choice in the matter.  I chose to be a wife, a mother, a friend.  My siblings were thrust into this role because of decisions Tommy and I made.  They didn’t ask to be an aunt or uncle.  Didn’t have a say in whether or not they even wanted to accept that role.  The only other relationship like it, in this regard, is one of siblings.  (And believe me when my brother was thrust upon me at 20 months of age, due to a decision my parents made, I probably would have had a few things to say if I’d had the verbal skills.)

But my siblings are amazing with my kids.  Aunt Ry always has suckers in her purse and has more videos of my kids on her phone than I do.  Uncle Tim sends books from Denver.  Uncle Jack lets Monster crash his date when he asks to “come downstairs too?” and watch their movie in the basement.

Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest and not used to seeing them in the caretaker roles, but seeing my siblings with my kids never fails to make my whole heart happy.

They love my kids, these little creatures that, while terribly cute and endearing, are also sometimes (often) whiny, crying, obnoxious pills.  It’s hard to love a kid that’s not your own mid- temper tantrum.  And because none of them have kids of their own, I’m always a little surprised at their natural, easy love for them.

Somewhere along the way my siblings stopped being the obnoxious younger brother who stole my seat every time I left the room.  Or annoying little sister who copied everything I did.  My youngest brother was ten when I left home for college and in the 12 years since he’s become a full on adult who has a life of his own and still lets Monster pretend to play video games with him and has a weakness for Toot’s smile.  They grew up, became my friends and then became important people in my kids’ lives.  I still see pieces of the comrades I grew up with in them.  Watch as they teach my kids the games we used to play together.

Though they didn’t really have a choice in the matter my siblings have risen to the Aunt and Uncle occasion.  I’m thankful for this.  Thankful that there are so many wonderful adults in Monster and Toots’ lives.  Thankful that the three people who hold most of my memories are among that count.  Thankful that the three people I didn’t ever choose ended up being so perfect for me.