For Whit

The Thirtieth Birthday Tour continues!  As my friends and I turn thirty I'm trying to honor some of them with words.  You can read a few others here, here and here.  Today, on the eve of Whit's birthday I toast her with love.  Happy Birthday friend.

Unlike my other college roommate, Sarah, I remember exactly when and where I first laid eyes on Whit.  Bid day, freshmen year of college.  I was on cloud nine because I’d been invited to join my first choice sorority.  It was the only one I hoped to claim membership to; the reason I continued on to each next stage of the rush process was because they kept asking me back.  I saw Whit across the big ballroom of the Union where we picked up our bids and waited to be picked up by our new sisters.  She was wearing a long red cardigan sweater, the thick cozy kind I always envisioned myself wearing.  She had really smart looking glasses (long before every hipster wore glasses as part of "their look") and Keri Russell curly hair.  It should be noted that for all of high school the television show Felicity encapsulated everything I dreamed of becoming in college.  There was Whit, looking exactly like the cool, independent college girl I dreamed of becoming.  She looked like someone who read high literature for fun, discussed feminism and justice while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.  She looked like she belonged in college.  I was still wearing overalls and pigtails and couldn't wait for the next Harry Potter book to come out.  I did not belong in college.

I watched her for a little while that day because she intrigued me so much.  She was crying.  Not uncommon as many people ended up in houses they did not want to be in.  At one point I got close enough to see her nametag with her future sorority on it.  Chi Omega.  My house.  I had two thoughts in that moment.  Why is she crying, doesn’t everybody want to be a Chi O? and Man, we’ll never be friends.  She is too cool for me.

Oh how thankful I am to have been partly wrong about that last one.

Whit was too cool for me, but somehow in the course of that first semester of college we became fast friends.  We lived in the same dorm, in instant unifier when you are a college freshman.  Said dorm was an incredibly long trek from our sorority house, so there were many opportunities to get to know one another walking back and forth from various sorority functions.  Whit fascinated me.  She was funny and smart.  She had unique tastes all her own.  She was deep and thoughtful and sensitive, but would still throw herself up against the coffee shop window, startling the poor soul trying to study on the other side just to make me laugh.  She was in so many ways the kind of person I wanted to be, but knew I could never quite pull off.   

In Whit I found a friend so completely different than me in so many ways, but yet also so beautifully similar.  On the surface we couldn't have been more opposite, but there was something in her core that felt like family to mine.  I couldn’t understand why she would want to be friends with me, but I was always so, so thankful she did.

Over the years Whit has been the kind of friend who shows up time and again.  Half the time I can’t even remember my anniversary but I always, always get some sort of a card or gift from her on July 7^th.  One year she found out where Tommy and I were going to celebrate and ordered a bottle of champagne for us ahead of time.  Monster was born at 5pm on a Sunday.  By 8pm, Whit was at the hospital.  With balloons.  She's been to first birthday parties and baptisms and all the other important moments in between.    

Whit has always had a tender, compassionate heart.  As her roommates we had to safely capture the bugs in our apartment and let them out into the wild.   Now she is a vegetarian, dog rescuing, composting, green thinking lady.  She speaks for the trees and the animals and anyone else that need a voice.

Whit creates fun wherever she goes.  Last month in Nashville she showed up with coordinating fringe tops and cowboy hats for us to wear.  In college she had a bin of weird, crazy costumes and we wore those things out more times than I’d like to admit.  We were both English majors at U of I and our advisor gave us the (poor) advice take Entomology 105, the study of bugs, as our “easy” science credit.  The class was intensely hard; I pulled my only all-nighter for the last exam.  Whit wore a spider costume to the final.  When you are friends with Whit some sort of hilarious adventure is always just around the corner.

My sweet friend has been a “go-to” for me for 12 years now.  I can always count on her for a solid conversation that makes me think, lets me vent, spurs me on or joins in joy.  She is thoughtful and wise, witty and silly.  For 30 years this girl has been bringing joy and love into the world.  She was everything I instinctually knew she would be when I first spotted her all those years ago.  And also so much more.  She has continued to grow and change, soften and learn over the years.  Her friendship is a time capsule for some of my most favorite memories and deepest secrets.  I am so thankful to have been wrong that day in the Union.  Her friendship and the things it has taught me have profoundly changed my life.  There is no one quite like Whit.  And I don’t think there ever will be.

Happy 30^th my love.  You are treasured.