She's Still Here...

We joke that it’s been the “summer of Monster.”  Since May when he started “big school” our focus, energy and thoughts have fallen on him a disproportionate amount.  There are good reasons to all of this; it’s been a summer of adjustments for my Monster.  Big school, an MRI, his cochlear implant and finally the implant activation this week, it seems that every few weeks Monster was thrown into some new and disorienting situation from which it took some time to recover.   And if my Monster is adverse to anything it’s new and disorienting situations that break his routine.  Through it all I’ve kept an eye on my Toots, unable to really do anything to change the situation, but frustrated by how often she was pushed to the background.  

Fortunately she is as easy-going as her brother is desperate for routine.  She's still here, seemingly content with our current situation and the lack of equal attention.  

Make no mistake, a wallflower this child is not.  She will, and does, demand attention when necessary.  She just does it most often with a huge grin or cheese face, easily placated by anyone, really, who will toss a smile her way.

sucking every last bit of ice cream out of the bowl

She has been a ray of sunshine in a summer of doing hard things.  Joy in heaviness. 

She astounds me, this child of mine so like me in so many ways.  While her brother will sit orderly and neatly right next to you when cuddling, this one sprawls all over, unaware or unconcerned if her foot is in your face or her elbow is digging into your stomach.  Much like her mother does with her father (to his chagrin).  She loves books, carrying them all over the house, pretending to read my copy of “Daring Greatly,” engrossed despite the lack of pictures.  I did this too when I was young.

Her personality is emerging in fresh, fun ways.  She instigates, often stealing toys just to get a rise out of her brother (who, bless him, inexplicably does not usually bite).  She flirts and plays, always engaging with the world around her.  Music makes her bop her little butt up and down. 

eating a whole apple because her brother is so, obviously she can too

She is also no longer willing to be denied the pleasures her brother is bestowed.  If he gets a sucker at Trader Joe’s, she must have one too.  Same with ice cream after dinner and new books from Nona.  I understand why you can’t keep things fair in the “introducing them to things at the same age” department.

I’m looking forward to Monster’s return to school and some one-on-one time with my best girl.  My friend Charity says that the birth of Toots brought out the best in me.  I came into myself more fully when she came onto the scene.  I think that if Monster is the kid that made me a mother Toots is the one that made me confident in my mothering.  She brought a sense of peace and settled-ness to my deepest self.  To see so much of myself in her and love her so fully has softened me towards myself a little more.

I mean, this face.  How could you not just love it?