Lent

It's a good thing no one reads this blog.  I can be at peace knowing that no one is holding their breath waiting for part two of the sex talk.  'Cause it ain't coming today.  I'm having a hard time finding the words.  I will follow through.  Just look for it in the next few days.

In the meantime, in light of Ash Wednesday tomorrow here are some much more easy to digest thoughts on Lent.  

I have varied amounts of success with Lent traditions.  One year in college I fasted from food one day a week.  It began with very pure intentions and ended up being a very sweet six weeks with God.  It also led to weight loss.  Now that the connection between the two has been made I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fast without underlying ulterior motives to drop some LB’s.  Every year I say I’m going to fast from French fries and every year I forget about this proclamation by about week three.  Last year I fasted from television.  It was a long forty some odd days friends and I hated most minutes of it, but it ended up being super necessary and life giving.  I’m the kind of person who constantly has television on in the background of things, mostly so that I don’t have to be left alone with my thoughts.  It turns out silence is golden and my thoughts needed time alone with me.  French fries aside, I don’t want to just give up some physical thing (like chocolate or whiskey) and turn Lent into a show of my will power.  I want to give something up for Lent in order to make more room for God. 

My plan for Lent this year is a little odd.  It came to me months ago but now that Ash Wednesday is upon us I’m finding that it all sort of crept up on me.  In short I’m giving up all forms of non-personal shopping.  This means online shopping.  It also means going through the human operated check out lines rather than the computer automated ones.  It will also mean no drive through ATM’s.  (Can you even withdraw money from a real live bank teller anymore?!)

I did this for two reasons.  One, online shopping has allowed me to be a very careless steward of money.  It’s so easy to spend money.  I can buy new clothes without leaving my house.  Amazon.com has everything.  Even condoms.  Er, um, so I’ve been told.  Not because I looked it up after being too embarrassed to ask the CVS clerk to unlock the family planning section with my kids in tow.  (I mean, I don’t know why I was embarrassed- I have two kids.  Obviously I’ve had sex.)  Anyway, these two said kids make it hard to leave the house.  And they sometimes leave me feeling empty.  Emptiness I can fill with all the things I can buy online.  Without leaving the house with two kids.  It’s a cheap fill though.  A wrong fill.

My other motivation had more to do with a shift I’ve noticed in myself of late.  I’ve come to see other people as a hassle.  Annoyance rises towards the chatty check out girl and Jewel and I find myself preferring to do it all in the self-check out line.  Even then I grit my teeth and bear the 20 second wait while the one clerk assigned to all 4 self check out stations comes to check my credit card and id since my purchase is over $50.  (And yes, it’s ridiculous and selfish that with over $50 of groceries I would clog up the self-check out line rather than just go through the regular lane.  This is why I’m addressing this issue during Lent friends.)  I rush through my days trying to avoid any inconveniences that may slow me down.  Like people. 

And I don’t want to live that way.  On a philosophical level I don’t want to live in a world of computer automated machines.  I don’t want an automated self check out stand to take someone’s job away.  Practically, however, I’ve come to want whatever is convenient and easy for me, me, me.

So this year, in order to make more space for God during this Lenten season I’m trying to intentionally slow down and think before I spend.  If it’s not worth loading two kids into a car to pick up a purchase myself then I probably don’t need to spend the money on it.  I need to fill the emptiness with God and not more stuff.  And I need to see people as God does.  If I am serious about loving people like Jesus loved them then I probably need to pick the line with the chattiest check out girl and spend the extra four minutes seeing her, really seeing her as Jesus did.  Valuing her and her work.  Talking to her and listening to her.  It may be easier and faster to just do it myself in the automated self check out, but an easier and faster impersonal world is not what Jesus came to save.  It will not make me more loving or able to deal with the messiness of people.  It will not make me kinder, gentler or more patient.

So that’s my plan for Lent.  What about you?  Any Lenten traditions?  Rachel Held Evans shares her ideas for Lenten practices every year.  Here are some years past.